I loved you.
Betrayed me!
Now you see.
A hatred born inside of me.
I left, to leave you to your.
And you slowly fell into the obscure.
Broken down.
Can't trust.
Hurts too much.
Found another.
It was grand.
'Till It happened again!
I can't believe it happened again!
One more time and I'll declare it the end.
This one.
Crawls back.
He transmitted pain.
Into her.
Look away.
Can't talk.
Run away.
Can't walk.
They always lie.
I see the truth.
Behind there eyes.
They'd rather be with the other guy!
Rage arises.
I can't deny this
Don't know if I can ever trust again.
But it could be that hope just around the bend.
Author notes
So if you can't tell I've had a lot of problems with people cheating on me. Nothing has ever torn me up more emotionally then when I put my trust in someone and they go and betray me like that.
A contest entry
- Group Contest for Devourers of Darkness!!! by Great Cthulhu.
1000 points, ended August 7, 2008, 5 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Ouch!
I enjoyed the almost staccato imagery in this. Almost like a camera with an automatic shutter catching betrayal in sections of hate. I do like to see a more complete proofread before the end of the contest, since I don't read any submissions before closing. I feel your pain, no one should have to be betrayed by the ones they love. Keep your pen to the page and thanks for entering! -
behind their eyes..typo..the short sequences do well with carrying your pain..you need some punctuation..but with some editing could be a very powerful poem..thanx so much for sharing and best of luck in the contest..blessings..namaste..


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Not much worse than a loved one who cheats on you. It becomes very hard to trust again. You vented very well, good luck in the contest





