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Little

Such a sweet, twisted angel
a dark puppet child
hollow eyes with crimson smiles.

Such a petite deranged clown
a little demon girl
opaque eyes that drown souls.

This little creature killed two-fold.
Her voice, a Siren's, torments
screams. Jump out oblivious throats.
Like Banshee dreams, this little doll gleams
tainted-torn cheeks kissed by Mephistopheles.

Such a joltness renowned
coveted by the coven bound
hated by the holy bliss
to give humans a crimson kiss.

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    July 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    excellent take on the prompt.. intensely eerie, and creepy... there are two spots I might suggest you fix. line 6 I don't believe the comma is necessary between drown, souls.
    and line 8 siren - serene. other than those two little things.. you did an excellent job on the poem.

    good luck

    kat


  • Nothing But No
    July 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was well written, the rhyme where applicable wasn't overbearing. One question, in the line
    "Her voice, so siren, torments" did you mean 'serene' ?
    Best of luck in your contest, I'm sure you'll do well.


  • Gypsie Ink
    July 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Oooohhh...

    I love the last stanza! That could almost be a mantra. Chilling and twisted. I loved it. Best of luck in the contest!