fallen

I'm sinking deeper
this feeling won't subside
although I promised
I wouldn't do it again.
There's a compulsion,
a burning desire
to reach out and grab
the rusted scalpel
feel it pierce my flesh
hear the sounds of penetration
that warm-sick effect.
The wound begins to well
Just one more cut
And then you'll see...
the first drop trickling
I'm playing with the rush
Why won't it bleed more?
The pain's fading
into a deep numbness.
I'm shaking now
What have I done?
I quickly wash the blood off
The burning's just beginning
Why am I doing this!!!
I don't know
I can't explain
I won't explain
Just letting go, forgetting
it ever really happened
Anything ever really happened
It's all a dream
A senseless world
what do they know
What do they care?
I'm just feeling low
I'll be fine tomorrow
Laughing and joking
Coz the scars don't go away
and the blood don't drown the sorrow
and the knife , the knife
just don't cut to the issue.