and just like the clouds
you hold no consistency
move around
change forms
and leave me
with drawings of all shapes
of illusions
Comments
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The image is effective for conveying the ephemeral nature of relationships. The circumstances are not overly defined, so readers are allowed to relate to this poem from many and varied experiences. That there is a relationship at all is determined only from the simple pronouns 'you' and 'me'. The spareness of language does not make this poem stark. Rather, it has an ethereal grace much like that of its primary image.
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nice ^^ good job ^^
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Wow!!
Oy!! This one grabs and my jaw went
Holy Moly~
I kept seeing shape-shifting but then a mirage-
Wow
Another Gem of a piece which packs a punch
Beautiful One!!
Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
Best wishes too
and much love & light~ Desire~*~
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excellent~
Another one penned in such few lines
But says so much.....
Very thought provoking...and I agree this one is deep
Hugs
Susan~~~
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It sounds a little sad... I'd like to think the silver lining has made its appearance to you by now...?
Me= no one to say "eloquent"- If I were older and wrote more I would have said that :-D
But yes.. till their time -hopefully in time.. others have to wait..
Lots of Love Mari..
always always..
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mmm this is a beautiful art molded in words...there is a sense of elusiveness into it...with the infinity of the movements...yes this is really a deep one
Anna Lee
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Deep
and are we not glad they-as in people-persons-who are ,'like the clouds-non consistance are ephemeral-short lived -brief in their presence in your life-and then anything-anyone that was thatevanescen''should not'' effect your life in any manner,'leave me with drawings of all shapes of illusions'-Mari a very deep write-a lot of thought and yes emotions are quiet apparent-extremely well written-loved it -all of it
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I think our emotions have a way of piercing through...so that even the most strong things will be seen to have holes in them, doubts... I am taken by the voice of this poem, a certain strength there...so remarkable...h
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I would venture to say we've all known people like this but who am I to point fingers..lol. Often times you have to change and adapt or die.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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Bubbin'
Never confuse the poem with the poet and so for now I won't. I'll just comment on the words...leaving the author out of the equation.
I know two kinds of people: Those who hold little consistency in their relationships with us and those who are consistent but you wish they were like clouds and that their personalities would change or at least dissipate. So I guess human relationships are one damned disappointment after another.
I like the title. It implies that time is a temporal, grasping thing, like some farmer clinging to the hoe or sickle as the agrarian age changes into the Industrial age, like in a Thomas Hardy novel (or like Mr Yemassee's fated man with green suspenders in "Father Time"
) Advice would be...do like Pegasus in that estimable Yemassee story and let the man fall.
Big deal if the cloud dissipates, let clear skies be the aim...cloudy ones give us bad moods, fragile emotions...and I don't have enough patience to be chasing clouds and trying to capture those images before they shape shift into something else. Been there, won't do it again, not if I can see the clouds as they form. After all, my aforementioned theory of inconsistency in humans is only 99 percent tested, there is a small margin for error and a human of substance may exist, and the truth that (s)he speaks today will hold true tomorrow. I never met one but like I said, there is that infinitesimal margin for error.
And yes, I am the latter, not the former...I'm the consistent fellow who everyone wishes would just dry up so the sun might again shine.
And since you know I'm a big fat liar and I don't actually keep the author and the work completely separate...I'll say I'm sorry if this in any way applies to the clouds in your deserved blue sky.
I like Wattle's comment, I wish I were brighter too, not just to better grasp this poem, but in general...if I were I'd know when I were boring you and would just shut to heck up...ah, but better a slow wit than none at all and so I shut up, having seen the illumination of that five watt bulb.
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excellent poem, Mari...so much brevity & imagery here.
I agree with Nic, I wish I wrote this one as well, I certainly have felt this way before about someone..
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Yes...so much said here in these lines, Mari. Loved the metaphor of clouds you've applied here so skillfully. Those last two lines are pure magic. I wish I had written this one.... can you tell I love it?
drukkies en soentjies
~ Nicolette
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An adaptable force,
life-altering,
it appears.
Emotion captured.
M-C
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A lot said in a few words. Very nice. Pen on...
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There is something very complex going on here. I wish I were smarter and not so quick to wilt. ---- Thank you.
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