bleeding mirror shards
overdeveloped picture
a caricature
A contest entry
- Teach me how to write a haiku by notorious.
2246 points, ended August 10, 2008, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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I liked it
It was sad...to me anyway...bleeding mirror shards...overdeveloped picture...a caricature...sad...I do like it alot...makes me think of some works I've written. Great write.
~mandie~
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This is more of a senryu than haiku...Haiku is always written in the present tense here and now. First line, the word Bleeding must be written in small letter
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I understand your comment here completely and agree with you on the tense but I don't like being restricted by all the technicalities oh haiku and therefor just write them as I see fit so long as they meet the haiku "feel" This is definately not traditional haiku and admit to that. Also thank you for the issue with the caps on "B" that I will fix.
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A very dark and intriguing haiku. I love the form, yet so often, for me at least - they are bland (even mine lol); but this was NOT. Powerful and well spoken! Love the imagery, really - in so few words, this is amazing. Excellent write!
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Your take on yourself, to draw what you feel rather than what you see. You look inside and see a cartoon life where things go wrong all the time. You needn't because you will always have me to tell you it will be ok.
C
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Awesome Haiku....Haven't seen you around much lately. So kinda funny that this is the first thing I click on to read by you.....Kinda like a teaser
Best wishes
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Oh yeah, 'bleeding' shouldn't be capitalized.
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Did you mean...mirror shards with actual blood on them?? I would assume so, since literal is best with haiku (supposedly...)
"overdeveloped picture"
Interesting...I love this phrase, actually, but I can't tell if it's metaphorical or not.
Love your title...makes me think of your entry in the pictures contest
Thanks for entering
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damn! well done!!! I can't do form. Love Juls
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haikus are fun and intresting
i like yours, and good luck my bestest buddy *Huggles*
Stephanie ♥
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Plural form of haiku is 'haiku'
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meaing...?
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You wrote "haikus", which is wrong, but obviously you don't care
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you are very much so write i dont care
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I wasn't write...I was RIGHT
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i'm going to shove my medication up your picky butt
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I don't need meds. I'm not suicidal, A.D.D. or...cancerous.
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i dont think i need medication either, but the doctor has prescribed them because im sick and i need it or my leg will be even worse..and yeah >.>
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Sabroso..
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whats that man?
im dizzy and tired and ah! *hides* -
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'Tasty' in Spanish.
The leg thing wasn't particularly tasty, but I wanted to use it...Meghan taught me it yesterday & I checked it in my Spanish diccionario LoL
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nice word
oohh...yeah is swollen, red, and ickyness, plus it hurts, not that tasty but you know cut it off, cook it up and add some spice and im sure it would be delicious -
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Let's test that theory
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hahaha, works for me
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