daylight bursts
sink stars deep
night sky reconstructs
Author notes
new to haiku
A contest entry
- Teach me how to write a haiku by notorious.
2246 points, ended August 10, 2008, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This is soooo pretty!!
But...I don't think haiku is supposed to use personification... e.g. "skies rejuvenate"
But..I know nothing.
I know I did like this as poem, & that's good. Really strong visuals BTW.
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ok; this is a lovely enigmatic description of dawn! But; it's a little too metaphorical for haiku. Haiku are snapshots of life. So; maybe go watch the sunrise and just take a look and watch what happens when the light starts up creep up, do neighbors leave for work? does a particular bird start singing? just capture what you see . I'm no expert; but if you want to look at an expert go take a look at myron's work
hoped this helped
-tell me if you make edits
-sailor ptolema -
light bursts sink stars deep skies rejuvenate a beautiful haiku good luck in the contest
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