I stare at the ceiling
Open the floor
Throw myself to the dogs
Come crawling back for more
Clear a place for me to lay
Somewhere that i can die
A comfy place of pain; I find
A place to close my eyes
Hold my baby in my arms
So dead and cold
There is nothing i can do
This is the lie I'm told
A sea of dreams, a little voice
Screaming in my head
I feel that i have no choice
My heart is filled with dread
The blood shines on the scapel
A nector oh so sweet!
And it brings the reaper
A friend I've longed to meet...
And meet her i shall...
Miscarriage;
Murder...
Abortion;
Annihilator...
So hide the little children
Dead fetus on the floor
Run home to mommy
As you have done before
Mommy wants you home again
Let her call your name
Let her fear build inside
Until she goes insane
The tears a waterfall
The waters of life
Bring forth the child
Now to end the strife
Her eyes flash in pain
She knows now that you are dead
She begs and pleads with the reaper
To take her instead
Mommy loves her baby
Do you know that now?
Or do you think mommy
Is a stupid whoring cow?
Cover your eyes my child
Mommy's life is drained
Slowly by the scythe of death
Life is drunk away
The baby's mind is altered
Her soul is growing weak
But mommy told her baby
To never ever peek
The gap in the fingers wide
Eyes unable to shut
The baby watches Mommy die
Sees her throat get cut
But mommy died for baby dear
So please, please don't cry
If you do the the reaper will hear
And in vain, mommy died...
Author notes
Well it said dark, it'd didn't really specify on what kind of dark
I sort of like it, dunno why.
Username: AngelOfBetrayal
A contest entry
- Give me something DARK PW allowed by Elle Kaye.
800 points, ended August 13, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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left shivers up my spine
You really weren't kidding when you labeled this as dark. This is one of the most disturbing poems I've ever read and it left violent, horrible, and extremely vivid images in my head. What on earth inspired you to write something like this? -
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It was based on some things i was going through and the pain that was leaving me with, the pain thats still tormenting me...
eckness.
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that's heartbreaking, it was even a little hard for me to read. what made you come up with something like this?
i hope it is not anything that you yourself or someone you know went through.. i can't even imagine and it left horrible images in my head.. -
this pure raw emotion. lost the flow at times but fuck it!!! i think this is a great poem i loved some of the rhymnes too and at times this was heart renching, i would consider left elining it, it would look better thats the only fault i can see, great piece of dark emotional poetry and i thimk tis should have placed in the contest, keep writing you got skills!!!!
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Is there music?
The meter lost track for me a couple times, like lines 10, 13-16, and somewhere in the early 40's. BUT, it also feels like if were being sung to music that a lot of it could be stretched a beat or two and it would be flawless... Sorry, probably did more harm than good. Great write, just the same!
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I sing when i write them, it's the only way i can write. XD so it all made sense to me. ^_^
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I love it!
In that case then, I salute you, poet! This is incredible. As I mentioned before, flawless. If it is ever set to music, I really want to here it. Thanks again for the read.
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WOW! i really like it left me with a wierd feeling but very good and well written, dark and a little crazy but a very good read
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Dark and very disturbing, the imagery was abhorrent. Left me feeling so uncomfortable.
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wow, POWERFUL POWERFUL write, i dont know..... dark, im sorry
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This is so sad... I hope it's not from personal experience... It's well written and flows nicely. It has some vivid imagery and I think it's a great poem... Keep it up!
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woe
Woe i don't even know what to think with this.
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yes that was dark. but i liked it. i dont think its all the way there yet. you can still work on, alot. but i liked how you narrated the story. maybe change the title to something alittle softer. but great write.
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very crazy poem i like it as well it has a sence of fear to it but pride as well.. i like it alot
--kat -
I leave this enchantment on your poem 
and also this good touch 
... for your writing is so clever, YES! I like it OH SO MUCH! 
You have been touched by enchantment. 
Pass it on, please, to another member of The Enchanted Realm. 
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I like the involvement of the baby in this piece - it really elevates the dark, creepy feel. Thank you for entering this contest just a note to ask you to check that you have followed the rules - I wish you the best of luck when it comes to judging!
Keep writing
Polly
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Wow, very dark. Kind of creepy too. But written very well, intreging, and very poetic. I'm not usually into that kind of dark, but I liked this one. The story, the mood, the social references. It's deep. And creepy.
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i thought this was very descriptive and can totally identify with this well done good write
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I loved this poem, though it is very dark. I love how you have worded it and used the word mummy, as if you are talking to a child. Structurely the only thing wrong with this is that the verses are very long with no breaks inbetween making it a little hard to read. I love the ending to the poem, it brings the poem to a complete end. great poem, it was beautifully written.
Always keep writing
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