Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Children of Darkness

White towers gleam,
Glistening in the rain.
Red rain slowy coloring white tower,
all the while We dance the dance of the dead.

{chorus}
We're floating through a world,
A world of red and black.
Dancing in a city,
where theres no turning back.

Towers darken, turning slowly,
From red to black.
The angels have all fallen,
Their bones are all cracked.

{chorus}

Towers of bone, Rain of blood.
The towers all darkned,
while the sons of light fell.
Fell to create a path for us,
the children of darkness.

Author notes

dunno where this came from but its in my hand writing and I thought It was fairly good so there you are.

A contest entry

hope you like it pls use constructive critism

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Sheilasbabygal4life gold member
    October 8

    Edit | Reply
    You have some awsome imaganary in this piece. I enjoyed it. Keep up the good work! Thank you so much for entering and best of luck too you in the contest!


  • Haiku-bless-you gold member
    July 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Dark Wind, This is some powerful imagery you have penned here. There is a progression which can't be ignored and some sobering images that shift the imagination into gear. Very thoughtful writing.

    Dennis


    • DarkWind
      August 4, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Merci Beucoup,
      Thnx, you have no idea what that means to me from you, friend. I now remember when I wrote it and what I was feeling, I felt that the light is over rated and has slowly lost all it ability to be any form of good. There for it is left to the children of darkness, not even full grown to rule this world, and try and make it better. My friends and I are the children of darkness social outcasts who prefer it that way, watching the world fall lower and lower, biding our time when we may be ready to try and fix it.
      May Stars Guide You.
      DW


  • grannyeri gold member
    July 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Not easy to write songs, but liked the lyrical quality of these words, the flow and the images created in the verses. Keep writing.


  • Polaja Greeters member
    July 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I don't know overly much about lyric writing, so I can't really be constructive on that point - but I really liked this and I can imagine it being put to music, it has a nice rhythm to it and I really like the ideas behind it - it is a good take on the the ancient good versus evil battle and I like the finality of it I think that maybe it could be a little longer - but that is just because I like long songs personally Well done!

    Keep writing

    Polly


  • ronnica
    July 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A dark lyrical write, light versus the darkness. I liked the first chorus,second stanza best,


  • Cherryberryboy
    July 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    You're on To Something

    I think you wrote this very well. I think it needs a little more to it but in the long run it could be one of the best things I've read in quite awhile.


    • DarkWind
      August 4, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thanks man, You know I wrote it for the band so any thoughts on how to make it longer or how to write the music would be appreciated. Im verry glad you liked it.
      Nature guard you, Stars keep you, Moon protect you.
      DW

  • keeara
    July 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    very moving

    thank you for sharing

1 - 9 of 9