Shaded canvas high
magenta blended in blue
orange ball hangs low.
azure envelopes
buzzing humanity down
long gaze from window.
Cream light filters in
petals on my closed eyelids
soft gentle kisses.
Author notes
Untraditional haiku...
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I like this untraditional haiku, it's something different. Good write!
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Thanks!
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shaded canvas high
magenta blended in blue
orange ball hangs low
azure envelopes
buzzing humanity down
long gaze from window
cream light filters in
petals on my closed eyelids
soft gentle kisses
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I think 'ku 1 and 2 are too metaphorical lol
they're lovely but 'ku are more of a snapshot of life...
for the last one, maybe:
light filters
petals touch eyelids
a kiss >>>>>>>I think this is more literal while still retaining the
multiple interpretations...
I'm going to ask myron though; as he's the master
I'd go look at his haiku too; to maybe help you see what I mean
-tell me if you edit
-sailor ptolema
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The plural form of 'haiku' is 'haiku'
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Thanks for pointing that out..didn't know
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So, lovely ladies? LoLoL please explain
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Jessica and Ptolema...Haiku does not have a title atleast the traditional ones do not, they take the first line of the haiku itself.....
But could not resist dragging both of my friends in the title
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