Shaking as I clutch my raw knees to my
bare chest, my fingertips cutting at the
supple flesh, peeled away be fear and time,
hours spent in the unknowing darkness,
hiding within its shadows thoughts, that cut into
my flesh, now cracked as dark claws peel away
at my fragile frame, tearing away the masks
until all that is left is a heap
of quivering flesh and disrupted thoughts
that rattle inside me, cutting away
at my insides like razors, ripping and
tearing until that sharp chill rushes
along my exposed spine, and the biting
cold wakes me from my psychotic nightmare,
casting that moment away with a frozen
shiver as it passes on to the next room.
Author notes
for you contest people i spose this relates but i didnt read the poem coz....well couldnt be screwed really. the title evoked some shit, so here is sed pile of steaming dog excrement, please devour it gently. FOR FUCK'S SAKE THE RAZORS ARE DESCRIBED AS BEING REALATED TO THOUGHT NOT SUICIDE BULLSHIT PLEASE DONT MISINTERPERET THEM OR I WILL SMITE YOU WITH A PICKAXE OF SUPER SHARP BASTARDISM.
A contest entry
- Inside a tremble by zochit2me.
4200 points, ended August 6, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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NOt really into the razors and cutting...
Agree with my co-host that the last two lines are keepers and show great creativity.
☼Becky☼ -
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......yeah they are metaphorical....its like a deconstruction of thier mental state rather than a suicide thing......IM NOT AN EMO PLEASE DO NOT THINK ITS ABOUT CUTTING COZ THATS GAY. if u didnt like the rozor part because u got the metaphor then thats fine.....but seriously if it comes off like that im deleting this coz it would annoy me
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This was okay until the cutting & razor part. However, I think your last two lines are really very good, those ones are keepers, they show wonderful creativity. Thanks so much for entering the contest
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viewed by judge 7/25/08
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