If Living My Life Means Losing Her For Sure, Then I Don't Want To Live Anymore

Sorrow so potent I feel I’m on fire
Shes the one person my heart will always desire
A fool of my stature deserves hatred and woe
No matter how much I don’t want her to go
Its my fault shes leaving, my foolish mistake,
She abhors my being, she wont stay awake,
I desperately gave her my heart on a string,
A song that I love and to her I did sing
She knew it was truth when I looked in her eyes
She knew that I wasn’t like those other guys
She knew deep inside I would love and protect,
With me there was no need to be circumspect
Then in a moment of weakness and pain
I crossed a line. Did I go insane?
How could it be that I didn’t once think
My foolish outburst wouldnt push her over the brink
Once I had realized, it was far too late
And at that moment I was desperate
I knew the seriousness of my act,
At that terrible moment, I had no remaining tact,
And desperately called for the darkest of vows,
My actions were shameful, I couldn’t allow,
My beautiful angel to hear of my sin
Looks like I’m losing her, I hope I can win
Her affection was the reason I lived through each day
Shes defined as perfection in every way
I pray she’ll forgive me each day and each night
Without her in my world, theres simply no light
She was the dawn that made my life worth living
I pray that her big heart is capable of forgiving
A poor fool like me, who in moments of fault,
Broke a heartfelt oath, and 2 hearts did assault,
Both with already such sadness and pain,
That with that added sadness, each one broke again
And impaled a love so deep and so pure,
That it hurt worse than it had hurt ever before,
The sorrow I feel is complete devestation,
I’ve hurt god’s single most magnificent creation,
I’m losing my mind, I’m falling apart,
She will always and forever reside in my heart
I can’t believe I could be this absurd,
To hurt such beauty with such terrible words
I’d take them back without a second thought
I just cant survive, I’m forever distraught
Laying on my bed, from life Im deterred,
Then I realize that my pillow still smells like her,
In moments Im battling terrible tears
Winning that battle I’ve never come near
I lose all my senses of time and of life,
As my mind becomes slave to my grieving and strife
Nothing in my life could ever compare,
To the memories me and my angel share
I’ve broken a heart that was so sweet and pure,
And caused terrible pain to the one I adore,
Its so hard to breathe, its so hard to live,
And myself I can never ever forgive.
I love her so much, Im in agony without her,
There isn’t a thing that I don’t love about her.
I wish she could see how much pain that I’m in,
How much I am tortured by my appalling sin.
Not only am I hurt by my horrendous curse,
But the pain I see her in is infinite times worse.
Theres too much pain in that beautiful mind,
I’ve watched in horror time after time,
As people she trusted and knew and loved,
Betrayed her trust. To the side she was shoved,
And that’s where I placed myself in her life.
I wanted to be the end of that strife.
Whenever she was shoved and to her was caused harm,
She was shoved right into my open loving arms.
When people misled her and talked with disdain,
It hurt me inside more than I can ever explain.
My only objective was to end her strife,
And with her in my arms start a new kind of life.
A life where her heart I could nurture and mend.
A life where her smiles would never end.
A life where her eyes I could look in forever,
A life where all ties to her pain I could sever.
The only desire I’ve ever held true,
Was for her to say the words, “I love you too.”
But nothing can ever atone for my crime,
I did to her what happened too many times,
I betrayed her trust and hurt her so severely,
The one person she trusted and cared for sincerely.
And instead of being the cure for her woe,
The tears down her face began to flow,
And instead of her arms being open and wide,
I watched as they miserably fell to her side,
And she told me she hated me for what I’d done,
And since that day, I’ve been coming undone,
There are no words that could ever describe,
The terrible misery I feel inside.
Hours and hours I’ve spent in sorrow,
I’ve lost all hope of a brighter tomorrow.
Because the only way my world could be bright,
Is if she came back, my wonderful light.
I’m so sorry, angel, its so hard to live,
I understand if you can never forgive,
But know this now, its always been true,
I’ve always been in love with you.
You stole my heart at our very first kiss,
No one else can make me feel that bliss.
Im so sorry I hurt you, in every way,
Its all that I think about everyday.
I can’t believe that I hurt you, it burns in my soul,
My heart is just one giant cavernous hole.
When I realized that I had broken my oath,
I was scared inside that me you’d come to loath
And I wanted to protect you from more of the pain,
That you never deserve but you unfortunately gain.
And when I tried to protect you, It hurt even more
Because it made your heart hurt right down in its core
Im the terrible reason you had no best friend,
Its my fault the two of you couldn’t amend
In trying to fix things, I made them much worse
In that way, to you I was a terrible curse,
And I understand that you hate me for it
You have every right. I can’t blame you for it.
But I want you to know that all of my being,
Is crying and dying from miserable grieving,
Without you, my life is just falling apart,
I’m so awfully sorry for breaking your heart
I’ll lay in my bed, overcome with despair,
Fighting back tears and saying a prayer,
And in that prayer, I’ll ask god for one blessing,
My sorrow to god and his angel professing,
That maybe one day you can once again see,
The loving great person I wanted to be
I wanted you to have great memories with me,
That you could look back on and smile with glee,
I wanted your happiness, never anything more,
My heart is breaking like never before.
No matter how many times I try,
I hurt you so much that I just want to die.
I’m so desperately sorry, Im dying inside,
Right now I’m going to go walk outside,
And sit in a downpour of tears from the sky,
The rain wont be the reason my face isn’t dry,
The reason will be that my heart is in two,
I’ll never forgive myself for hurting you