God you are astounding
You keep me breathing
And my heart, it keeps beating
Because of you
With all I have been through
And all that has to come
I pray you’ll be with me
Till the next mornings’ sun
With so much hardship in this life
So much pain and pain again
I know I’d never make it through
If not for your love
My truest friend
When this world lets me down
I know that you’re there, offering your hand.
When my words are sharp and loud
I know you’ll speak to me somehow.
When my heart is weak and aching
I know you’re right there next to me.
And when I’m down to my last thread
You choose to carry me instead.
There are times we all fall down,
And our feet tremble upon open ground
With shaky knees and hands held high
We’ll search for you, within the distant sky.
When I need a word of comfort
And a moments’ peace is hard to find
I seek your Word, my only truth
To reassure my mind.
Because….
When this world lets me down
I know that you’re there, offering your hand.
When my words are sharp and loud
I know you’ll speak to me somehow.
When my heart is weak and aching
I know you’re right there next to me.
And when I’m down to my last thread
You choose to carry me instead.
You prefer to carry me…
When I have nothing left.
When I’ve given my all.
When I’m alone and bereft.
When this pain I’ve been hiding, is too much to bear.
When I’m so desperately lost, I can’t feel you there.
When I’ve forgotten who I am in you.
When my mind is clouded by the struggles I’m going through.
……And you love me all the same.
I know, because
When I looked back on my walk with you
There wasn’t one set of footprints, there were two
But when I was hurting and when I was weak
I saw there was only one pair, and I heard you speak,
You said, “Child when you were lost and I saw you roam,
I swept you off your feet and I carried you home.”
A contest entry
- Moving On by The Rainbows Mind.
1050 points, ended September 11, 2008, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - i dont know by VerminVomit.
702 points, ended September 14, 2008, 72 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - think ya can do it???????? well we will just see by offlimits.
450 points, ended October 5, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Open up and give me emotion by Velvet Rose Petals.
1150 points, ended September 21, 2008, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Take My Breath Away(Anything you Want) by fairytalelovestory.
675 points, ended October 19, 2008, 106 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inspire Me by TheAshtrayGirl.
1000 points, ended November 1, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "MY LORD DIED FOR MY SINS" by rinzurajan.
2500 points, ended May 11, 57 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - How did you find God? Prewrites Allowed. by AngieLynne.
650 points, ended August 18, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites!!! Come take a look! by CentrifugalCorpse.
1250 points, ended September 7, 224 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites :) Yes, as many as you like, but hell this wont be simple. by xxRainbowDawnxx.
700 points, ended November 3, 1093 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Wow!!
This was beautiful!
I especially love at the ending how you spoke of two footprints and then one, but the reason there was only one was because God carried you home.
How thoughtful!
=)
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brilliant!!!
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Awesome!
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"And when I’m down to my last thread
You choose to carry me instead."
All I can say is PRAISE THE LORD -
i see you have won a trophy in my contest and i ahd commented earlier... but again would like to say...amazing...the concept is good...i loved the way u presented it...
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This is very beautifully written. Sounds like you got a strong relationship with God. That always gets you through the day knowing that. I enjoyed the read!!!
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this is a beautiful prayer.
"with shakey knees and hands held high we'll search for you" great visual
"when my words are sharp and loud, i know you'll speak to me somehow" is my favorite
"you prefer to carry me..." makes this personal and really sweet.
im not sure i like the allusion in the last stanza -
wow...i loved the concept...have heard of it earlier...but u put it in an altogether different manner...quite effective...
loved the emotions...
good luck
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Awe-inspiring
Comments:
The poem was so moving. God truly inspired this poem. I could feel his presence singing from th crashendo e work. The amazing part: When God ended the entire thing for me in a huge crescendo of spiritual feelings so strong the feeling was physical. This is a great poem.
Critiques:
I'm not to fond of the varying stanza length and try to keep the lines the same length too.
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wow...I love this! a sweet testimony of God's love written in lyrics...I could almost hear the wonderful melody of this one!!! An exceptional write!
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Oh my, this is amazing. Is this seriously your very first poem? You have so much talent. Keep writing!
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wonderful...
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The whole footprint illustration makes me want to cry everytime...
This is an awesome piece; it's outstanding to see some poems of the declaration of our God. I loved it, and it was a very encouraging reminder of how easy it is to fall but also how we are always taken care of. Keep up the thoughts.
JDS
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i could agree. i have had many friends along the way help me realize lessons, and teach me important thigns about healing and being a good person. a good friend is needed to stay sane and make you act insane, if you know what i mean..
Rose -
this is very very sweet i loved it thank you for the remarkable entry i loved it
good luck in the contest.
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It seems that your faith is very strong. Your life is very centered in your faith. It's always good to know, that god is there when you need god "my apologies, but I refuse to attach a gender to god."
We're always searching for what's best in our lives, and god's their to support every decision. I like your viewpoint of god, often times people of any religious backgound try to make god out to be, "the father that spanks you for all of your mistakes." The thing I've always found to be so amazing about god, is that god's the only one that can truly love.
For the truest of love is letting, in this case, god's child make their necessary mistakes. It's in my belief, that mistakes are just learning experiences.
Although we were put here to demonstrate the word of god through our actions, I believe we were also put here, to make those mistakes, and to learn from our trials.
In a bizare way, we can't be worthy of heaven, unless we go through some hell. No matter the religion, ethnicity, background, or character traits of a person, we're all god's children.
The sooner that a great majority of us stop trying to be so condescending toward others, and to stop feeling that our religion puts us above them, and we accept god for what it is the better off and the easier our lives will be.
Sorry, I tend to ramble. Please understand that when I use the words our and you, they aren't dihected at you at all, they're merely reference tools to make a point.
I can tell that you really put your own selfish desires aside, yet really expressed what was in your heart with passion. Thank you for sharing this, and not being ashamed to believe whatever you believe. -
Excellent
Very beautiful poem. It is always nice to rememeber that God is always there for us. Thanks for sharing this. It really touched my heart.
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reminds me of Footprints...
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