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sunlight

sunlight
along a walking track
ants collide

A contest entry

haiku

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Kmezz
    February 10
    Edit | Reply
    There's a lot of ways to think about this poem. It really is great.


  • marlene47 silver member
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You must not have been walking very fast if you're noticing what's happening to ants.
    I like this - colliding ants with each other, I think they like it, and with the patch of sunlight.


  • pastiche
    August 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Appearences

    Really made me sit and think about why this appears to happen to ants under circumstances that make no sense to humans - when there is clear vision.

    Ants do not collide, of course: and here I found my personal key to the haiku. No matter how obvious, appearances really do deceive!

    Stunner!

    Thanks for the subtlety and best of luck in the contest.
    Best, p


  • sailor ptolema
    July 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i love the frenzy in this; makes me think of not just ants; but people on a busy sidewalk. New York City comes to mind for some odd reason.
    LOVE it

    -sailor ptolema


  • notorious gold member
    July 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    cause you rocked my face off here


  • notorious gold member
    July 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    You need to submit more than 1!! Hahaha I must learn!


  • Melodies
    July 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ah, myron... and the contest hostess did not even ask how long you have been writing haiku. She kicked my butt. I am learning from you, myron and thank you for sharing your talent with us learners. lol


  • Mari Goes gold member
    July 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is quite good!
    Perfect image in words.

  • sailor ptolema
    July 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    brilliant myron! I don't really have the heart to go into more detail right now...I'm tired after being harassed on here today I shall come back later with a more insightful comment

  • notorious gold member
    July 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Well clearLy, this is the kind of thing I need to learn how to write...LoL.

    I guess you don't need a dash after 'sunlight' because...sunlight flows with the second line?

    The walking track of lines is absolutely disgusting & totally brilliant.

    Thanks for entering...after I sent you the URL

1 - 12 of 12