Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Seven Pretty Pillows (and me)




I've got seven pretty pillows
and a pocket full of change
six clean, empty goblets
and five rooms to rearrange.

I've got pieces of a puzzle.
I've got four big closet doors
and the table by the couch
has three itty-bitty drawers.

I've got two blue, puffy eyes
that can't hide one thing they see,
how I haven't got a thing to fill
the emptiness in me.






 

Author notes

look at this stuff,
isn't it neat?
wouldn't you think
my collection's complete?

In a list

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Violent Glass
    October 30

    Edit | Reply
    hmmm.... i beleive i enjoyed this. it had this sad beauty to it. it also show an emotion most people wouldn't admit to having! i love it! great write!

  • ocerus
    August 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is pretty good but needs to be fleshed out. I feel that it became uncovered too soon. I would never deny your talent - and this one is won of the better ones - but I just thought that it came to the surface too quickly.


  • MelodiousMe
    July 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i keep singing that little mermaid song in my head... anyways i love the last stanza and i think its the best part because it opens up the readers eye to see a deeper meaning to the things going on in the beginning of the poem. At first I imagined someone happily cleaning up their messy home, but then in the end i could see them going into a room alone sitting down and just crying, because, well... {how do you think you would feel when your all alone and cleaning up?...doesn't it ever feel pointless? endless? repetetive? boring?}...empty??????

  • honeybe
    July 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    intersting count down. and have to agree the author's note is amusing.


  • Catie Sheeran gold member
    July 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow... I started reading this thinking it was really cute and then that ending! I had such a change in mood.
    I have to agree with dame, You do leave the reader curious to where you are going with it. it made me want to keep reading. Great piece


  • dame de la riviere
    July 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    what a neat little poem...the enjambment, with the repetition of the first line is nice and makes the reader curious to follow the poem to its end to see where the narrator is going with it. in use of imagery too. well done! peace
    p.s. amusing author's note.

1 - 7 of 7