Step down, customer,
You’ve had your say.
Now, you’ll forgive me
If I ruin your day.
You forget rule number one.
And I don’t mean to be rude,
But don’t fuck with the people
Who fuck with your food.
We have it kind of rough,
So you’ll understand
If we just can’t comply
With your every demand.
We get paid too little
To care that much
About extra ketchup,
Pickles and such.
So, just sit down and eat
Whatever we cook up.
And, for the love of god,
Just shut the hell up!
All your ranting and raving
Gets nothing done;
It just pisses us off,
So we spit on your bun.
You yell at the cashier
When it’s not even her fault.
Come on, really,
Act like an adult.
If you have a problem,
Take it up with the cook;
I’m sure he’ll be happy
To make amends for his fluke.
He’ll serve you raw meat,
Hope you get the mad cow.
Hope you enjoy it,
You come on back, now!
He’ll throw your nuggets
All over the floor,
Put your extra cheese
Down in his drawers.
If it takes too long,
Sorry about that.
You try to cook eight burgers
In forty seconds flat.
Really, how low
Does your life have to be
To come through the drive thru
And give us grief?
Relax, it’s a burger joint.
It’s not the end of the world
If your little ice cream cone
Isn’t properly swirled.
And make no mistake,
We’ll all risk our jobs
To avenge one of our own
Offended by you snobs.
The managers won’t see it,
They’ll just turn their backs
‘Cause they know later on
They’ll get some great laughs.
So, this isn’t Burger King:
Can’t always have it your way.
Thank you for listening,
Now, have a nice day!
Author notes
Prompt Number 1
A contest entry
- WHY::SO::SERIOUS? by xXxIceQueenxXx.
900 points, ended August 11, 2008, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poetry, Poetry and PreWrites! by Lost Vampyre Angel.
1200 points, ended September 13, 2008, 336 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Right on!!
Write on!! Congrats on the Emerald Cup!! 
Best wishes to you!! 
[Bookmarked]
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Okay, I worked at Pizza Hut for a little over a year, and even though we don't serve burgers there, this made me smile
Thank you so much for writing this!!
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What an instant classic! Fun read and you can feel the frustration you'd get from dealing with fickle customers. I've always thought it pointless to spit in someone's food unless they somehow ended up finding out about it, which of course they couldn't and shouldn't. All the more for people to understand and know the unwritten rule... give chef attitude and risk booger in food.
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Bwahahahaaha! "But don’t fuck with the people / Who fuck with your food" is so true. Bitchy customers at my booth at this Renaissance village used to get the potatoes I'd previously dropped... I was nice enough to refrain from spitting in them, though!
Hope you've gotten out of the hellish business of fast food...
-hiraeth -
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Unfortunately not. I'm still stuck at McHell until I go away to college. Thank you for the comment! Glad you enjoyed. And, as long as you went by the 5 second rule with the potatoes, you're good. lol
--Genesis.
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wow, so much aggression yet so much humor!! I absolutely love this poem!
"You forget rule number one.
And I don’t mean to be rude,
But don’t fuck with the people
Who fuck with your food."
Very good point, and one of the reasons I don't eat at fast food or places were people make my food for me.
Thanks for entering my contest! -
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Haha. Thanks
I ran across the contest by chance and was like YES!!! lol. I've been enslaved at McHell for over a year and sometimes the customers almost drive me to KILL people. But, yeah, I don't do anything to people's food...That's just wrong...lol. But, seriously, I haven't. Not that I haven't wanted to... Thanks for the comment!
--Genesis.
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OMG! I love it! It's so funny!
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I'm glad you liked it. I work at McDonald's and sometimes it just sucks. This poem is for everyone who has ever worked fast food. Everyone at my McHell loved it. Thanks for your comment.
--Genesis.
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