Max,
I know I have said this many times before, but I must say it again, this is absolutely beautiful, and never have I received anything more beautiful from anyone in my entire life, and I sincerely mean that. Many times, when we are faced with days of silence between us, it scares me, it terrifies me more than anything in this world ever has, and for many reasons, I fear for your safety, and I sometimes fear that you have lost interest in me and in us, and always, when I least expect it, you do something so incredibly wonderful, or you say something that tells me otherwise, and I am once again content with relief, and the reassurrance my insecurities unfortunately need at times. Although, I will admit, that I am now finding that I am not as insecure as I once was.
I have faith,and I think positive, and I remind myself daily of this special love we share, and that nothing and noone can ever take that from me. Nor can they take the many memories that only you and I share, 20 years worth. I too feel as if we walk each night together, I feel this because I imagine that you are here with me, and you are laying beside me, touching me, kissing me, making love to me, that special way that only you know how to do. You seem to speak the same language as my body, and fluently, because it responds to everything that you do, and say, with neverending desire.
I love how you touch me and kiss me and make love to me, I love everything that you do to me, and say to me, and you always say and do what I am thinking and wanting, and what my body is craving as though you are reading my mind. And when we are away from each other, I crave you, all of you, and never have I wanted to have anyone under my skin as I do you.
You will always be my very best friend in all the world, but at the samne time, I never want to lose my best, and most perfect lover. I never want to lose ANY part of you, and I never want to lose ANY part of US.
I am so in love with you, all of you, everything about you Max, and I adore you, and I look up to you, and I admire you, inside and out, and these feelings seem to get stronger by the hour for me, and I find that being away from you is my least favorite thing in this world, and I do not like it in any way, but I am learning to adapt, and I am learning to cope with the distances between us, and I look forward to the next time that we are in each others arms once again, for you have undoubtedly made each new time even more desirable than the last, and each time that my lips touch yours, I am reminded of how much I really cannot live without your kiss, your touch, and your love.
Oh how I long to have you inside me right now, so much that I cannot sleep. This happens quite often. But last night was so amazingly perfect, I am now going to close my eyes and relive it all over once again, as I will each night and each day, until I can be next to you once again, and so far, in all of my life, everywhere that I have ever been, I still find that my favorite place of all time, is next to you, and I know it always will be.
I love you Max, I love you with all I have to give, and when I think of you, I always smile, I smile because of all the happiness you have brought into my life, and my world, and for all the good that you have given me of yourself, and for all of this, and for all that is you, I will love you forever, and always cherish you, and will hold you inside my heart and soul for always.
Love,
Jan
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