Lost Letter to Jan:

Jan,

I remember the taste of a young woman's kiss…the taste of her sweat and the beautiful whiteness of her teeth through a radiant smile. The feel of her hand in mine…her breath in my face…the sweet perfume of her body.

I go to a place where I can be free from the troubles of my past…where I am the man I have always wanted to be…and she is there with me.

I remember how she felt in my arms…how her eyes burned deeply into me…and touched a shattered my soul. I wonder about her sometimes…where she is…and if she thinks about me...I hear her laughter on the wind and I see her face in every cloud that passes by. How I long to return to those days…and nights…

I remember how her love and passion changed my life forever…and how hard it was to watch her walk out of my life. The visions come back to me in my dreams…a thousand frames of life that pass by in an instant, yet with perfect clarity.

She was the first to awaken the desire within me that I could not control. She set fire to my soul and it smoldered for a quarter of a century…quietly, yet consistently burning…she left a mark within me that remains to this day…like names carved into the trunk of a tree.

I recall the feeling of my body slipping into hers…the wet heat that flowed out of her…how I truly felt like I became a part of her and a part of me remained inside her long after we lost each other on the path of life. I remember the light reflecting off the tiny golden hairs on her legs…how long and slender they felt in my hands…around my back…how her breasts felt against my face and I long to see her once again.

Although the pages of life turned before my eyes…I struggled to leave my bookmark in time…she beckons to me from the mist of my memory…

In the sanctity of nightfall, I allow her to return…willowy and tall, she walks through the lush grass of my fantasies…her nipples straining against the soft, white cotton of her blouse…the innocence of her smile….and the passion of her stare. I enjoy watching her and I lay quietly so she does not notice me watching…Much like the nights I crouched outside her bedroom window so many years ago just to watch her sleep…

If only I could find her again…

Love,

Max