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We'll Watch the City Burn

The fire's rage
Turning the darkening
Star filled sky red
We'll lay on the grass
Stare up at the sky
Watch the stars fall
And melt in the
Burning flames below

I hold my breath
And dive into
Your blissful illusion
Of a perfect world
The moon hangs high
As I drown
Inside your eyes

Time crumbles away
The world falls down
The fires rise up
And claim the sky

So take my hand
We'll find somewhere
Secret and up high
Away from the rest
Of the cold world
And from underneath
A star lit sky
We'll watch the city burn

Author notes

Personally, I think this is the strangest thing I've written lol.
Inspiration from Kill Hannah "The Songs That Saved Me" and Kids In The Way "We Kill At Twilight."
Both are GREAT songs! I think you should listen to them

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Immer Leben
    January 27

    Edit | Reply
    ...This...is...amazing.
    I mean, seriously.
    It made me cry. It reminds me of someone.
    This is such a good poem.
    I think, though, you should take out some of the commas. And I suggest centering it, but that's just me.
    But other then that, this is perfect. =]

    By the way, this is Pretty.Rave.Boy. Just on a different account. ^-^''...
    *doesn't remember if I've told you that before or not...*




    ~S~


  • written-in-ink
    September 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i think it is very nice and i love it to be honest

    there are things here that i felt i would have written myslef lol

    but again
    very nice job
    and thank you for entering and good luck


  • Polaja Greeters member
    August 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like the imagery in this piece, the way you describe it makes me think that it would be beautiful to watch Thank you for entering this contest just a note to ask you to check that you have followed the rules - I wish you the best of luck when it comes to judging!

    Keep writing

    Polly


  • peregrin
    July 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    It is good, I think it is creative, and good luck in my contest!

  • JupiterLove
    July 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I really really like this. The imagery is wonderful.

  • cdudecosner
    July 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great rewrite! This is really good. I liked it the first time too of course! Great job. God bless.

  • cdudecosner
    July 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    That was interesting. It reminded me a little of a song by Kids In The Way called "We Kill At Twilight." Good poem.

1 - 9 of 9