Subservient

Thoughts spill onto this empty paper....
It now contains what you must see.
I feel as though my heart is a gum wrapper....
Disposable and crumpled on the street.
Though it must have mattered at some point....
Otherwise, those moments we shared would have been lies.
Like the thoughts you have when you smoke a joint....
That Christmas trees really contain pies.
What bullshit one can think when you read this rhyme....
This must be my desperate attempt to claim you once more.
As if the one thing I did was to commit the unthinkable crime.....
To make your heart feel as sore.
Its so sad that I think of this now....
I should have seen it coming from a mile.
Like when you see a farm containing thousands of fat ass cows....
But sadly all these words seem so vile.
I feel like I should scream at you in the highest pitch....
But really what good would that do.
I would only seem like the stupid bitch....
Like one of those shitty actresses in a soap opera on cue.
Should I let my heart grow again...
Or should I spit vomit at your face.
My love is becoming harder to contain....
At the fear I have solved my last case.
Of the crime that you have committed at last....
I want my dreaming to stop.
If you call what I dream something of the past....
Its more like a nightmare and every second slower than a clock.
But if telling you meant anything to me....
I think that it would awaken that fear that I most secretly desire.
Like the Christmas tree....
I want to throw you into that hell fire.
Forcing myself to toke that memory of you away....
Which clearly means that forgetting it all is best.
But somehow I wish for it all to stay....
I want it to stay, that which I detest.
So heres to you, my friend and foe....
Here is your love letter.
Telling you everything that my heart has stowed....
It makes everything that happened seem so scattered.
So lets go on, and move forward....
Forgetting what actually happened in that room.
At least now, I have nothing to look toward....
You gave me nothing in the least, not even a wound.
All the caring words mean shit....
I secretly hope that you fail at everything.
I hope you take this like that joint hit....
Smell the pies, the bullshit, lies, and more than something....
That is what you mean to me....
You are a pie, a Christmas tree full of shit.
You are as insignificant as a tiny mustard seed....
Maybe now the light will flit.
My flame for you has dwindled low....
And I thank God for all the reasons that were true.
Even lower than a tiny window....
So as to tell you that you are below my shoe.
Nothing could be lower than the shit on the ground....
Except you, you could be there.
I am sure that you now understand what has come round....
I am sure you understand how much you tear.
Gladly I will recluse....
To leave you and your shit to bask in the glory.
That way you can understand your misuse....
Of time and love, you wrote your own story.
You must live with that decision....
You wanted to live in the lies.
While I took notice with top precision.....
And now, I at last, sever the ties!!