in past & in present

remember when spending time with you was all that mattered?
i was lieing about my lies about my lies to cover my tracks
& get to see you
only you
i was shutting out every fucking person who ever matter to get close to you
for five minutes or five seconds it didn't matter
with you time knew no limitations
days went by in hours
without you hours went by in days
& foolishly i thought this fairy tale was going to take the rest of my life to end
but how things change
constatly
without warning
never when i need them to
i've thought about this for weeks & i still can't decide
who fucked everything up this time because i won't take the blame anymore
i'm sick of letting people shit on me
if i've changed i won't apologize
say i'm sorry because i'm not
it's not that i don't want you to be happy


i just want to be happy more