yellow sun on the red brick wall
must seem comforting
to clay wrested from the womb of earth's garden
consigned to kiln fires
from the crucible came terra cotta
-some would use it as a cradle for geraniums
-some would use it as stone
In a list
A contest entry
- favorite things PIF by Cat.
700 points, ended July 28, 2008, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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so thoughtful; this took me all the way back to Adam Kadmon and man built from red clay - then fired with the breath of life - many layers here, so beautifully written.
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I've not heard of this...but it sounds like clever imagery!
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It is a pre-dynasty Egyptian belief, from Thoth, still contained in the Kabbalah and the Old Testament of our Bible. Fascinating, but difficult.
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I like this very much - momentary, subtly colourful.
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comforting indeed....
i like where i went within myself with the last two lines..
one can choose to use it for beauty
one can choose to use it for practicality
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Raku'
. . . and in the cracks and flaws / I see the beauty within us all.
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Wow so enchanting!
Wow so enchanting!
This just sings off the page into the mind! Lovely fresh breezy use and choice of graphic descriptives, fine scultping and lovely rhythm too. Adore the sentiments, they are like a breath of fresh and scented air, and you give the reader an abiance of being out in an enchanted garden or patio, walled garden or somewhere naturally enigmatic and secret.
Lovely flowery feel, most enjoyable read, love it, well done!
Poetic Hugs,
Kaz.
Kazytc xx
Ps: Thanks millions, for your fab and kind review you are very inspiring and encouraging.
Glad you liked it.
Its a great honour to enter your wonderful contest thanks for the privalege and experience.
Poetic Hugs and Thanks Millions,
Kaz.XX
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thanks kindly, "KAZ"!
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I like the comparison of the sun heating the wall, a comfort, and kiln fires and its transforming heat... finishing with the possibilities of uses.
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I just read that crucible comes from crock (crockery) by way of French by way of Old German... in the word "cruet". everything returns by way of earthenware.
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Thank you "EA" for the lesson! Yes is is logical that "crucible" and crockery and such words dealing with clay and cooking and fire would have a long braided history.
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really love the sound of this piece- especially in the final stanza-
and i don't mean sound words
as i very often do- i mean i love
the flavor it leaves on my lips
as i read it- it
seems right
you might eliminate a "the" or two.
I do love the imagery this piece brings to mind- thank you so much
m
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Thanks for your comment, Cat.
I'll have a look at my "whisker words" a bit later.thanks for your suggestions.
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