As if honey sweetened milk, from your flesh flows
appetizer for wanton desires unleashed.
Each sensuous curve holds secret delights
for to entice pleasures unbound in kisses trace.
Bodies entwined in rhythmic time
with passions flow burning from within.
Each wanting to others touch.
Consumed in our flame
now glistening in our delights,
held tight in lovers embrace.
A contest entry
- Summer Sizzler...Men Only by Dalaney.
1300 points, ended August 14, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I don't know what to say about this one. I guess it is that it just doesn't have anything in it that I haven't already read before.
I think it would be better with shorter lines & line breaks to break it up a bit..it also needs some further editing...
'each wanting the other's touch' maybe not 'to' in L7, and it should be 'lover's embrace' with an apostrophe.
I do like the idea of her flesh as an appetizer..lovely...
thanks for this entry into our contest
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Thank you for your time in reading and commenting also for the pointers...needed them.
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love it! love the pic.
Bodies entwined in rhythmic time
with passions flow burning from within.
Each wanting to others touch.
Good Luck!
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Thank you for your time in reading. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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my goodness Rick, you know how to steam up the page huh? hehe Great sensual write! Best of luck to ya!
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Thank you Linda for stopping and reading also for your kind words of encouragement. I'm glad that my pen has left it's mark.
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You did great!
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