I never met a man so poignant and strong
She exclaims with an awkward glimpse of hope
A twinkle in the eye with hands still hidden
Hiding beneath the white sheets of our bed
I never met a man with dancer's ankles
Too shy to show my own as she turned to stare
Too cold to understand the scars of love
Hiding the things that make us different
I never met a man so willing to listen
Then take it away, so callous and crude
She soothes herself daring not to be free
Hiding inside the war songs of old
I never met a girl so scared of life...
Author notes
This is a fairly personal tale that not many people know about, anyway, I hope you like it.
A contest entry
- crimson remorse by PersephoneInWinter.
300 points, ended August 19, 2008, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Bandits United!
An interesting take on the mysteries and vagaries of life, love and loss! Well written, well worded and interesting! This poem seems a bit mysterious and distant in it's characterizations. It is a great read and I find it just fascinating! Very well done!
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Girls will be girls you know, shy or bold on a whim.
but old scars never die, and should be treated with extreme care.
look a "could" I think you mean cold.
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Thanks for the correction!
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I like the repitition of the 'I never met a' - I think it is effective in turning the story around to come from a different perspective... I didn't quite understand the 'too sky to show' line - unless it was meant to be 'shy'? - I do like the awkward glimpse of hope though
good luck in the contest!
Keep writing
Pol
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Thanks for the correction and the glowing review
Keep reviewing
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