Countess Elizabeth Bathory
On the throne she does sit
With pretty eyes and long dark hair
No one would have expected her dark despair
Sadistic pleasure and an innocent face
Raining blood like a Macy's parade
Girls mutilated with repeated bleedings
Bodies swollen, burnt, and cut
Torture at its finest, vanity at its highest
"Cruelty will remain latent till,
by some accident, it is aroused,
and then it will break forth in a devouring flame."
The Giggling Granny at her best
With a mean streak that burned inside
And all she wanted was a love story
That ended with giggling delight
Purnes laced with arsneic and pies made of poision
She was a terriably good cook
One could say she loved her family to death
That was so misunderstood.
Author notes
Worst poetry at its finest, but i did try. I did Option #1 which was from the view of the Serial Killer or fictional serial killers.
The first one is Countess Elizabeth Bathory and the second one is Nanny Doss. I like both of them. They say Nanny Doss was giggling when she murdered and she was giggling when she went to prison, she was a character and a really good cook so i hear.
*****If anyone knows how to make my poetry better please feel free to critize.*****
A contest entry
- - 7 Fantastic Options - by xxRainbowDawnxx.
1050 points, ended July 25, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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wonderful bounce and flow to your poem!
it pulls us right in and we pick up immediately upon
the rhythum and beats.
(don't forget your spell-check button as sometimes
mis-spelling can distract from the flow of a well written
poem)
Thankyou, I did not know Countess Elizabeth Bathory,
heard rumors of her deeds, "so misunderstood"
loved it!
ears/Seattle
Gluttons for Punishment salutes you!
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You call this "worst poetry at it's finest", but I thought that it was actually much better than that. You report two delightful tales, and with some doses of imagery as well, nicely done.
I have never heard of these two ladies, but you made them quite real to me and there is nothing I like better than a good story with some poetic devices inserted. You had a couple of typos, but overall an excellent job.
FD
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hey thanks for the comment. I like Nanny Doss because it said that when she was being questioned she couldn't quit giggling even when she was found guilty. But yeah, typos are a thing i have got to work on.... i guess i type so fast i dont notice my own typos
But yeah thanks for the comment, it always feels good to get comments from a great poet
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I like how this floats in and out of rhyme/partial rhyme and free verse. It gives an interesting texture to this piece. And I've never heard of Nanny Doss but your evocative portrayal of her will definately have me on crime library later tonight fulfilling my morbid fascinations. Though I'd rather see these as two separate pieces, this is still an interesting piece with some creative phrases.
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Hey this is sweet as! The two verses did seem quite disconnected, but still make for good tales. Ah and now I see why I like the first in particular -- very much so. They're both good -- well done.
I wont critique, not feeling real need to
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oooh she frightens me, the creepy woman... very interesting woman though and I do love all the murder and madness that our history permits us to see.
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It is true, our history is great
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Well, Bathory is one of my favourite killers by far. Mainly because she was a woman...
Well I quite liked it.
The second part seemed somewhat... Forced, perhaps, to me.
But all in all I like it. Although I don't quite approve of the "Vanity at its highest" part.
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