Within these walls darkness closes
Freedom is but a dim distant dream
Echoes drift unheard, unheeded
Watch towers weep wearily
yearning for the tide to turn
Forever waiting, waiting
for the wave that will carry comfort
Sighs lie as sand on a beach
starry as the night
surrounded by blackness
A never ending void
empty yet filled with….
fear of a future unseen
unreachable, unknown
Cold silence stifling the air
is broken by the warmth of dawn
The dove alights pausing
Messenger of old
robed in light
presents its pearls of wisdom
as I turn to face the sunrise
A contest entry
- Wise Poet's Society Wisdom Contest by DawnBaby.
2300 points, ended August 16, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest!
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DawnBaby
So glad you liked it and thanks for the applause.
Hugs
Cherry/Jill xxx
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This was not actually a pre-write as such as I re-submitted after joining the group. xxxxx
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First of all, I loved the personification of sighs, and freedom, and silence. Also, I think that in line 20, I think that you meant to say 'robed' as opposed to 'robbed', but I', pretty sure that that was just a typo. I think you took a lot fro, the prompt you were given, and I also think that you did very well with it. I was gripped from beginning to end, and I admire how you packed so much meaning into a relatively small amount of words and lines. You had a powerful ending that neatly wrapped up what could be taken as a sort of story. The vivid imagery was beautiful, and I thank you for sharing this with us ^_^
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forethought
Thanks so much lol I did mean robed, lol, I am a twit. Thank you so much for spotting that I will correct it now.
I'm so pleased you enjoyed my poem so much.
I do love using imagery and you are spot on as my poem is telling a story.
Hugs
Jill/Cherry xxxx
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