I bet you'd tear my flesh to pieces if I let you
you'd bite hard
in my neck
marking your spot
with purple halos
going deeper,straight to my soul
i bet you'd relish ripping me apart with these perfect teeth
and that perfect smile of yours would turn into a predator's grin
I'd probably enjoy that kind of pain
for a while
indulging in this newfound masochism/love
maybe I'd even smile as you ingest me
somehow you'll feel whole
as my bones shatter between your jaws
you'll adore the taste of my blood
you'll even worship the stains it leaves on you,
lick it off later for rememberance
then I will take over
burning you as i become
a part of you
I'll slip off into your core
through the gaps between the cells of your intestins
I'd be nothing but pure light
invading you from within
and i bet that
in the end I'll change you...
?
Comments
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serge, i read this again and again
and im at awe every time i do
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...and I bet you're right about all your assumptions but the last one.
Why would you want to change something that's bringing you both so much pleasure? And what is it with you and being a pure light and becoming a part of the girl's own body? If you reached a phase when both of your bodies became one, the pleasure stops, there's nothing left anymore, whereas if you remain two separate entities, there's always something higher to reach. Don't you think?
There's implicit sadism in the first four paragraphs that is quite delightful.
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well in this one u're kinda right...but when both bodies become one it's not about turning into one body,it's about becoming smtg more,smtg new,smtg beyond what we know...the pleasure will not stop,it will be unending...
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that's even better when read aloud... but i wished words would have been poetically improved. i loved the imagery within... i found it enchanting to read it and my best part was the last one as "hopefully" u got to change her...
blablablablabla
PEACE
********JOWELL********
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you've got the finest finish up there..
I honestly dont think I've read anything as good as what you've written. Amazing
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perfect excellent chilling twisted! wut more can i say!
yet another masterpiece
and u knw how mch i love that kinda stuff
it jst reaches inside of me
its amazing rly
~rana~
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oh i love this!! totally the kind of things i like to read!!
but u should correct the chat language, the "you" instead of the "u" ..
one more thing, this isn't a ballad, when u name ur poem "ballad" then u should b writtin' a ballad .. (stupid poetry class again
)
besides that its gr8, the imaginary, the words, the ideas, all of it
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hehehe
what's a ballad ? -
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a ballad is one of the oldest kind of poetry, it states a story of tragic events of common ppl, it should hv a tragic ending such as death or sumthin, nd the characters are of supernatural powers..
besides that the lines should hv the same number of syllables..
my "wild thing" piece is a ballad for example
me
xxx
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"then I will take over
burning you as i become
a part of you
I'll slip off into your core
through the gaps between the cells of your intestins
I'd be nothing but pure light
invading you from within
and i bet that
in the end I'll change you..."
amigo you reminded me of Matrix, the first movie of the trilogy. Do you know which scene?
Elie
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there is no spoon ?
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nooo amigo not the spoon, it's at the end of the movie when Neo runs in the corridor and "enters" inside agent Smith and the lights start to shine from behind his glasses, his body starts to break and then it explodes.
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I love the ending, I love how optimistic it is. And the detailed description of the process sends chills running up and down my spine every time i read it. excellent.
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