“All because the lady likes Milk Tray”
doesn’t hold a patch on little me,
when I tell you about the other day
you’ll laugh your socks off, this I guarantee.
Nervous, I sat in the dentist seat
when agitation got the best of me,
so through the window I took my retreat
forgetting I was up on landing three.
I grabbed out for the long branch of an oak
caught it by the skin of my bad teeth,
but the flimsy outcrop bent then broke
nose dived me to the concrete underneath.
Luckily the concrete was still soft
just having been new laid it broke my fall,
but shortly I began to spurt and cough
as swiftly I became a human wall.
Onlookers executed my escape
and grabbed at both my arms to pull me free,
when “CRACK” my limbs took on an obscure shape
and hung like broken branches of a tree.
They rushed me to the hospital, and there
they plastered, salved and bandaged, what a sight!
entrenched me in an old electric chair
dispatching me into the darkened night.
Now no one thought to don a high viz vest
or lights to give me visibility,
so as I wheeled in traffic three abreast
a great big wagon hurtled straight at me.
As you may judge, I didn’t stand a chance
and lay there maimed and broken on the floor,
then as my twisted eyeballs gazed askance
I heard a voice that I had heard before.
“You realize that all this serves you right
and while you’re on your back, if you are willing,
I’ll take advantage of your inept plight
and justify your mouth with a new filling!”
Of course, I didn’t have a leg to stand on
or arms to fight or mouth to curse and swear,
without a needle, which I frowned upon!
the dentistry was tackled then and there.
Take heed of my sad story, it’s no lie
don’t dismiss a situation or contend,
ignoring one small prick you may scrape by
but retribution gets you in the end.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I am reminded of Spike Milligan's nonsense verses and stories. Great fun.
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Ha-ha, I am just like this poem when it comes to the dentist I can really relate to this very well. I thank you for sharing it with me. Thanks
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LMAO, what the heck where did this one come from, lol, i mean really, keep it flowing and thanks for the laugh i needed it.
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Great Write!!
funy funny funny!!
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What a tale of horror you pen. I hate the dentist, but compared to this story, it seems like a trip to get a check up would be like going to a party!
A thoroughly enjoyable read...Sue
. Rewarded 4
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LMAO This was too funny. It flows well and your imagery is good. I like it very much. Pen on...
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Great humour!
I'm due a dental trip, I think I'll think of your poem when I'm sitting in the chair. Reading this made me laugh so it will be easier to keep my mouth open...
. Rewarded 4
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Excellent stuff
The things some people will do to avoid the dentist
Great stuff!!!
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