Crying Freedom, Land of the Free, and My Daily Bread

Hey, Jon Stewart, please
Please make really, really laugh
Heal my rod engorged head
infected with a culture of sick staph
For the pharmacy was out of St. John's Wort today
And I need you desperately to drive my sorrow away!

For I sob and sob when I watch the tragic news of our time
but on some occasions do find a touch of television sublime.
I eagerly await the needed fix of my screen addict's day
If there would just be a breaking news bulletin or two, I'd be okay.
I've been in total withdrawal for over an hour from reruns on CNN all night
and E! Infomercial designated space, hurry up dawn, as I'm getting sick,
Between insomnia and too much caffeine, I'm becoming a total fright,
and starting to shake and quake.  Oh,
I missed when it aired, so upsetting for me, to not see live as the clock did tick
So I quicken with anticipation for a possible second opportunity, exactly when it happens
at precisely the moment, to catch you calling Tucker Carlson a dick.
Meanwhile I am consumed with news of a much less happier sort
The horrors, the big questions, how much is true, how much does the media distort?

What's next? We've already consumed every detail about the Jolie-Pitt baby
Oh no, might Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes never marry?
Carmen Electra and another husband split, how scary!
Jenna Jamison pronounced going to Hell by High Holier Than Thou I Am
and called a slut by the greatest of all moral standard setters, falafel man!
Clooney doesn't want to marry, oh my, what will the world do?
When a People Cover Man won't betroth a woman, what have we come to?
Crash of all existence should Colin Farrell's pussy du jour speak of his piece on air
The Greatest Beast of civilization who smokes, drinks, curses and has sex yet again,
The Red Devil of Ireland indeed, how the disgusting do dare!
I have a few you words for you, man, and I'll call you on the carpet and give you the what for!
Raunchy, nasty, filthy human being – why don't you stop my lair?
One evening only, fine, memories last forever; the key is under the matt at the door.

Oh pig, pig, pig I must be! Horrible scavenger of inflection and waste, Swine I Am
Perhaps that why pearls of wisdom before me still not yet shown, given only spam
By the True Greats, the intellectual giants, like Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh
Offering sheer crap, Greatest of all hypocrites, fellow human waste for sick mind feed,
long jail sentences for shameful drug abusers, man you got some balls,
And who is the fairest of all Red Dames with excellent vocabulary, yet never learned the meaning of the word fallacy,
so continues to practice and offer illogical think,
and wants convert Muslims to Christianity, but please do so, My Pretty, pretty quick,
because you and only you with your obvious extraordinary knowledge of Holy Scripture
can't fix those errant ones fishing for men off the wrong side by ensuring the boat sink!
Greatest of Media Whores, those two and add O'Reilly,
The Holy Trinity of Holes-in-Brains, where if logos deeds be, weeds handed Thee
surely earning favor of divinity of hellava-bank, I would surmise,
I would also wager, that Swine, indeed I Am, and Scavenger therefore must Be
For the feed you offer -- excrement, infection, diseased – more sewage, slop for Unholy me!
How grateful I Am to you truly blessed three, for poverty in the U.S. is not so bad as bargains for souls or stealing of minds, when you can earn lots of cash for psyche rape in the land of the free.

Not all conservatives of those not of my political ilk make me sick, sometimes even George Will
makes good sense and certainly his mind I respect, though I respectfully generally disagree,
I can appreciate Senators John McCain and Lindsey Graham for their honor in standing against their party when they opt to do what they believe right even if it doesn't fit the far-wing decree
And even if I rarely concur with what they politically profess, in their ethics I feel I can trust,
which for Washington, D.C., rare gems, indeed, to pursue discourse and debate rather than lust
for politics of personal destruction, personal power concentration, or hoard of spoils of Me
to ensure possible salves for suffering of masses isn't compromised for fee in the land of the free.

Former President Jimmy Carter I adore, awful in office though was he, for daring to make
peace between Israel and Egypt and I remember a brief period of long waits in gas lines
horrible indeed, but at least those were the days when you reached the pump you could afford
to fill up, instead of scraping change, hoping and praying enough for 3 gallons please Lord,
so I can check sparse job postings in the unemployment office and get to the food bank
for my factory job has gone to a sweat shop overseas, helped with the move by a tax cut
by trickle-down theory, President Bush, who neither archaic nor anachronism be
but great new breed of Autocrat, Supreme Court-declared leader of the electorate of the free
yet re-elected thanks to evil-genius stroke, exploit emotions on issue of gays so they won't see
Our lies, our corrupt, our greed, our self-righteousness, our shameless power plays,
and worse,
to turn back time or exist in suspended state of eight-year curse?
Oh, how I long for the good ol' days
of Carter malaise.

Clinton impeached for a naughty use of cigar and oral sex lie, wrong though he may have been,
that was the business of the now Senator from New York, not of me, told not to judge sin,
Yet treasonous ground closely, nearly or possibly tread,
and so, so many senselessly dead,
continuous lies lead into war, fuel flames of hate in the Middle East, increase poverty ranks
and decimate the middle class to concentrate the wealth great tax cutter he,
with surplus squandered to record federal budget deficit, loss of all respect for Americans
abroad, leave children behind by stripping schools struggling the most bare
and trick the elderly
with prescription plan where drug prices are non-negotiable and doughnut holes to go around so – oh how the compassionate conservative must truly care –
to prove just look at Mediscare
as physicians start to refuse all beneficiaries for ludicrously insufficient compensation and seniors still get to choose
between medicine and something to eat,
or maybe a partial refill and cat food so all their needs we adequately meet,
the uninsured told to set up pre-tax medical savings accounts, stupid we,
who live paycheck to paycheck yet still sometimes have cupboards bare
that is if the area I reside in has jobs to spare
after factories close thanks to your Grand policies,
Oh Great leader of the free world, Great Pro-life I Am who proudly squashes stem cell research
while an estimated 18,000 die each year for lack of medical attention
but they are mere necessary sacrifices for the more important war on terrorism
which we see how you win the hearts of minds of Islam with condemnation of torture
except when you of Great mind all-knowing see exceptions okay and decide or ignore the constitution if your Greater Good preside, try to pass or amend law of the land to protect marriage from the scourge of gays
like Rosie O'Donnell and by-law-unrecognized Spouse who dare
care
for abused children or decry gun death tolls or loathsomely give to charity, please spare
us from the likes of them, we perfect heterosexuals who,
with 50% divorce rate and when holy unions end, women's incomes plummet and few receive child support and very little for those who do,
while men's banks skyrocket, and couples earning $25,000 or less per year are twice 
as likely to end up divorced, which means more break-ups under your economic policies,
thank you for leading us on Family Values and knowing true to deny my friends a slice
of the great American Apple Pie of civil rights,
for them to be allowed to jointly own property
or adopt a child or be at the death bed of their beloved is sick indeed,
when about 1 in 5 kids lives poverty,
thank you Amazing Face of American Liberty,
I was blind but now I see! 
The  values of the Rancher of High Horse Democracy, I could go on and on about what you do
to teach the lessers like me, how shameful we are, like the unproductive poor, 30 million of 37 million are working by the way, but to raise the minimum wage might cost jobs instead
of stimulating the economy with more earning power as has historically been true,
and we can't lose jobs on account of them who once had factory positions but now
retail counter clerks and fast food burger flippers will become when the Almighty You
allows tax cuts for shifting Americans into unemployment lines to ship jobs to new
lands where factories of sweat shops and child labor mean more cheap stuff to buy
for the low-wage earners in exchange for being oppressed.  Oh, shameful sin of Clinton lie.
High crimes and misdemeanors indeed surely committed he.  While uncloaked spy
for dare her husband truth about you speak is necessary cost of war we fight and many die
For Holy Red Ruler, Almighty He Reigns, Above All and Knowing All, the Exalted One
and Sole Source of True, the Love and the Light, the Lord of Logos, The Father's Son,
A Little Bit Further From that Tree, Yet Jesus as Savior does He Profess and so said and led,
knows he's assured a spot in Heaven and forgiven, so its okay to act as the Anti-Christ instead,
I was once in malaise and consumed by sexual sin, so thank you Mr. President, indeed,
for I Am finally freed!

Scarlet Beast D.C. riding atop G-8 not only hand reigning America's land of the free
Free speech of democracy, oh Holy We,
where sound bites mislead, for substance is a waste
and fiction and fact become equal debate
and media feeding frenzy over chosen topic of late
goes over and over it again while for news we still wait. 
Because though truly awful murder of a
little girl years ago may have been,
when the parents became the prime suspects of media fate
you tried to amend your crime of victimizing the grieving when a confessed did state
He was the killer,
while he really wanted to be newscast filler,
capturing national spot light
and undivided attention, while I kept flipping channels looking for any possible sight
of what was going on between Israel and Lebanon, or the forgotten war in Afghanistan,
or how many dead today in Iraq, or a possible end to ongoing slaughter in Darfur, or
worldwide poverty woes,
or anything else from America or the globe
aside from the sweet
child who died
and parents who cried
as the media spied
and treated them as killers
and a sick soul seeking attention becomes sole focus of media mention save for the fillers,
the breaks we got now and then of advertisements for crap to buy to profit the hero
of journalism unfettered speech as ratings soar, the final score: media won; freedom zero.

Newspapers can be great, but no one reads anymore!  How absurd to take the time or pause to
think when we can get our fix quick on Great Screen of We See, Therefore We Are Free.
Unless you factor in the FCC which will fine for a breast of a woman a child will see
as source of milk but adults the Great We
are horrified by such graphic pornography
While bad taste it may be, to me, that is not what would most offend during a game
(which I do love) but still see and fear terrible injuries, concussions, those now lame
for playtime entertainment the message a child is sent when a stretcher is not the problem
senseless suffering nor games of big and bigger more violent boys an enemy,
but a woman's breast is the source of a sin and chagrin
and truly the most awful thing we could find on t.v.,
oh to live in the land of the free.
But I cannot blame gossip about celebrities nor propaganda profiteers nor the Devil-Bush,
burn though he may,
nor the "legitimate" stations who prefer individual tragedy,
world events and facts are secondary to sensationalism's ratings and the money it makes
for when I tune in and consume it, I, alone, am responsible, and the real shame is on me.

So dear Jon Stewart, you I do adore, for your fake news is funny, unlike the phony news
I find frightening and which makes me feel so sad,
but in the midst of the worst you make me laugh. 
And so when I am tired of it all on channel after channel and disgusted with the views
I, of free will, choose
to give audience to in the theater of the absurd, and make myself sick,
anti-nausea you become.  I also love Lewis Black, and the rest of the crew; marvelous truly is.
You are not my hired monkey, so I can't ask you to again call Tucker a dick to me amuse.
But in the world of mass media czars and phallic empires, yours is definitely better than his.
So off to bed I go, with a smile on my face, thanks again, as I lay
me down to sleep and pray,
I'm okay
now in the land of the free and with the me, not so brave,
for tonight, at least, because it was one when the Daily Show aired. 
If I could do something for you, I'd spar or play
with little miss Ann Coulter, who would seem to be really easy sport for even the short
on intellect like me,
and as dreams of bitch-slapping and cat fight fade from my head,
replaced with wondering how I might, possibly, get Colin Farrell's phone number instead.

You will not see me, but I have a date with you Jon again tomorrow evening. 
In the midst of the awful, in the nausea of free will, in this world of suffering, impoverished and war-torn, tossed to and fro
by the unreal and unknown, me it does scare so 
Laughter is an extraordinary gift, and I am grateful for your feisty wit
making merry of the crux of mess.  Maybe one day I can do
something for you
to say thanks for the joy you bring with such flair. 
I feel confident that is a sentiment your many, many fans share. 

In decline of civilizations they say, such as ancient Greece, the culture is reflective of the fall
pending and the Zeitgeist direction.  The morality and gods of Sophocles brilliant tragedy
transcends to a more rational Euripides then the comedy of Aristophanes flags the end call.
Down burns the think-shop,
ha ha ha, while convicted Socrates consumes the hemlock.
Pre-upright man, or eras when matriarchs and more peaceful men grew, big apes once we
then came the fall with the speech of men and on quests for war and nomads roam free
to lust and stake claims for their gods on the other's phallic empires and on spoils binge.
Pray we learn from history; laughter need not mean an easy way to swallow the end, plea
we devise an unseen as yet civilized way of world life and being through monkey revenge. 

(C) 2008, rev. jayne