There lies, in places where spirits grieve,
Where fireflies glint, and weave dances of light,
Where ladies sing to whispering trees,
Where only wind soars on mighty wings,
A soul, hidden by dark canopies,
In a silence which no man sees.
And this soul, just when gold and pink set,
When the wet petals sparkle with dying light,
When all creatures of day find a place for sleep,
Sits with silent hands, folds her wings, and weeps.
Her cries scream in the peace of night,
They mingle with wind’s sighs, and run away,
To be lost through the confusion of the trees,
To fade with the laughing of children at play,
To rest on the worries of distant cities.
Why does her blessed head hang in pity?
Rain falls, from heavy, burdened clouds,
On the rooftops of the sleeping men.
The screaming crowd of life’s parade
Reaches, with outstretched hands, for rain.
And in its footsteps on the world,
Rain conceals the cries of lonely angels,
Who sleep, distant, curled in great sorrow,
Ignored by sun, and moon, and men,
Who, in peaceful sleep, await the dawn of morrow.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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You are only 14? You show potential. Just keep in mind that no matter the genre, you are communicating with the reader. The poem has to make sense on some level.
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You find this does not make sense? Please, explain...
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To me, and I stress it is just my view, the first part of the poem makes sense. The last two verses are however diconnected and irrelevant to the rest of the poem. It would have worked better as three verses. The last line of the third stanza jars too. The head should of hung in sorrow. If it is hanging in pity then you need to make it more clear why that is the case.
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Ah, well, perhaps it is a little unclear...let me explain for you: What I meant with the rain was that the patterns of everyday life distract the men from hearing the cries of angels...so they remain oblivious. And the heads of angels hang in pity, because their sorrow is for the condition of man. They pity man, in his inability to appreciate the beauty and simplicity of life. I hope that at least helped you a little in understanding. But thank you very much for the comment.
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This poem is just beautiful, every word is like an angel of Nature.And it flows as beautifully as the scene it describes.Great work look forward to see more!
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