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forgive me sweetheart

I still remember the first time I saw you
Although the memories have faded and frayed
Over time…my heart still remembers
Like it was only yesterday

I can still remember the feel of you fingers
Forever in twined through mind
As we sat on the back porch together
A comfortable silences in time.

I remember the hopes and dreams we whispered
Under the cover of night as we laid in our bed
But most of all I remember you…sweetheart
The girl I still love the girl that I wed.

With each passing of time
More tattered and torn these images now feel to me
No longer as clear as they had once been
And yet still forever as strong.

My memory is no longer as sharp or as young
As once apone a time it had been
Every day I loss a little bit more…
Everyday a little bit more of you slip’s away.

I some times wonder if these snaps of memories
That flick through my mind are real
Or if some how my mind is slowly descending
Into that bleakness for where one day I shell never return.

My heart breaks for the pain that I see in your eyes
That you can no longer hide
As you watch and you wait for the invincible
For what we both know now has arrived.

Everyday I will shell tell you
How much you do mean to this old man by your side
Everyday I shell love you a little each more
And thank god I have you in my life

And everyday it’s for you…sweetheart
That I’ll continue to fight
This bleak nothingness consumesing me.
That’s taking away our life

Every night I lay beside you
Just to watch you sleep,
I cannot lose another moment…
Another second of the time with you.

As the tears fill my eyes
From the searching pain through my head
I know that the time draws near,
Minute’s…mere days are all that are left, before this man disappears.

I don’t want to forget to lose every thing
To never remember you
I can live with the pain, live with the hurt
But I cannot live without you.

I wish I were stronger…I wasn’t afraid
I wish for so may dam things
40 years now we’ve been together
And now I leave you nothing but pain.

How it kills me a little more each day
To see that hurt within your eyes
To watch you, to see you…to know it’s my fault
Each time that you look my way

How can you still love me?
This thing that I’ve become
How can bear to stay and watch?
This man that you once loved

Now it’s all over  alzheimer's it has won
There’s just a shell nothing more for I have moved on
I give to you your freedom and take with me the love
Its finish now it’s over I’m not in here my love

Author notes

option four write from the one you lost point of view.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Symphony
    April 6

    Edit | Reply
    This was so beautifully written, I think anyone who had been in this situation would be hit hard by it .... Excellent piece of writing, I feel like I have tears at the back of my eyes.

    Thanks for entering.


  • wingsofgold25 silver member
    January 28

    Edit | Reply
    This is realy a good write but there are a lot of typos in it if it was mine i would read every line and correct them . If you do I will try to come back and comment on it


  • Ms Raneika
    January 20
    Edit | Reply
    nicely written. Thanks for entering my contest much love, Raneika


  • Umi Juvariel
    January 20

    Edit | Reply
    At first, I couldn't quite grasp what was going on, but as the poem wore on, I began to understand. This was sad, yet it didn't start that way. Your transition was great. Excellent write and good luck in my contest.


  • guardianhost gold member
    January 16

    Edit | Reply

    Heartfelt, Deeply Personal

    For everyone who has lost a loved one to disorders & Injurys which rob the personality,
    For those of us mourning the loss of being that makes us - us. A Must Read this well penned - please consider expanding the last verse.

    Congrats on the HM Trophy.


  • RainbowMonkeh
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    I know what it's like to watch someone with alzheimers, my great grandfather has it, it's hard because you know them, but they only remember bits and pieces of you, it hurts. This really touched me, awesome write. =


  • Mythtress
    January 5
    Edit | Reply
    A beautiful, poignant poem of unending love touching a subject we all fear and hope to avoid. You wrote well on the subject and I enjoyed the picture you painted with your words. Write on, poet.

    Blessings,
    Myth
    P. S. In stanza 2, there is a slight typo... "twinned" should be spelled "twined"


  • Shancy Fayre
    January 5
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for the entry. Shancy.


  • waydownuponjoy
    January 5

    Edit | Reply

    A beautiful sharing ...

    that brought sighs for the theme of your poem. In my humble opinion this poem needs to be reworked so that it either conforms to form, as you started to do in the first few verses, or make it a free verse poem. I would like to see you give this poetic message your full attention to edit as it has a most profound message that needs to be shared. It's not easy but when you polish it up, it will shine! jy


  • serenity silvermoon
    January 4
    Edit | Reply
    im surprised you didnt win any trophy this was a very heartfelt and very beautiful poem you writen here in my eyes it is a winner and one of the best poems i have read keep writing you are good at it i hope to know you if i dont already i hope to read more of your poem


    • earthangel33
      January 5
      Edit | Reply

      thank you

      for your wonderful comment and kind words......this poem has a special meaning for me........i wrote this one for my nan........i never knew my pop as he died before i was born so i only have the stories my nan told me about this wonderful man whom held her heart in life and in death.......after my nan died i sat down and wrote this.......so she never got to see it but in my heart i know she would have liked it.......


  • Angel Felice Seals
    September 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Gold

    this is gold you should win I like the way it rhymes i love the flow it has passion you did a fantastic job

1 - 12 of 12