I miss the morning—
slap of footed pajamas
on the floor,
tight hugs that nearly
bent me to the ground.
Slight hands slipped in mine
as we wore grooves in city streets.
Playground promises fulfilled
warning shout and gleaming slide
into my arms.
I miss afternoon fatigue,
delight in dandelions,
insects crawling sidewalk cracks,
and being able to
realign the planets
with tender word
or single kiss.
Author notes
I have changed the title--based on the combined suggestions of A Woman to Love and Mirthryl. Thanks so much!
A contest entry
- What Do You Miss? by Auburn Sunrise.
600 points, ended August 3, 2008, 30 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Excellent. Well deserved gold. This is really beautiful and nostalgic. I have to agree with Auburn Sunrise -- what a perfect response to the contest.
Garrison

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Wow. You completely got the point of the contest and impressed me with your vivid imagery and talent for lacing words together in a way that really fits the subject matter.
I love it! Absolutely LOVE IT! This is EXACTLY what I was looking for. It actually follows my train of thought when I opened this contest - so I'm impressed that either you think like me, or you just knew instinctively what I was thinking. Either way - you're a new favorite and this is a new favorite write!!!
I disagree with HeavensDaughter, when she says that "it is a little rough in places" - in fact, it is that edgy roughness that makes it perfect. You are reminiscing of childhood - most of our memories of childhood are not completely smooth and perfectly in order. I know mine are very jumbled, vague, and full of feeling and intense senses, not necessarily the whole smoothed out picture.
This is just brilliant! Thank you for entering!!!! -
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Thank you, Auburn Sunrise
I am so pleased that you like my poem and I am honored that you have added me as a favorite.
Thank you for such an inspiring prompt.
BellaD
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I agree with Auburn Sunshine and am grateful for her pointing out how the "edgy roughness" fits in so perfectly with your subject. Usually, I can see stuff like that. Not sure why I missed that, other than I have not been "myself" lately.
Congrats on becoming a favorite! You have been one of my favs for some time! :-) -
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Well, thank you, and no need to apologize as each reader has a different take on any particular piece. I appreciate being one of your favorites.
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That is absolutely fantastic! I feel most of us can relate to missing those things now beyond our reach and in the past- at whatever stage of life we are in.
Your word choice in this is absolutely spot on, brief but still visually stimulating.
Wonderful as usual


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Very beautiful.
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I really like this. It is beautifully written. It is fairly smooth, but feels a little bit rough in a couple of places. "insects crawling sidewalk cracks" and "with tender word".
It really pulled me in, reminding of the days when my children were small. It made me smile.

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