it's unfair
I know
when you
look life
in the guts
it kicks you back
all knowledge
like ancient parables
and no responsibility
ain't that a riot
but no one laughs
a Pagliacci clown
sad face
fake tears
Al Capone
holding the
smoking
gun
in the front row
there is you
best seats
as the drama unfolds
curtain rises
you are the only one
missing the spotlight
the screenplay is yours
written mindless
blind eyes of the poet
the optimist
eternal
with craggy chin
slough shaped eyes
barking words
the crucible crowds
may they burn in hell
it's love I write
never having it
or knowing it
laid in my hands
best deal made
played to packed houses
not one cent I'll see
or a kissed dry fuck
on a simple bed
with a simpleton
no-
not me
I had to fall
madly
for a
fool
or a lover
the one supposed
to be for me
then wake up
and have someone
write him out
like the extra
cutting room celluloid
I have no say
no say at all
In a list
A contest entry
- personal by Melissa Gayle.
800 points, ended July 24, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Blow Me Away with Feeling by StormGoddess.
1500 points, ended August 6, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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This is only supposed to be 16 lines. I think you have gone WAY over that limit. Thank you for your entry anyhow. Storm
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We truly don't have any say in who we love -
there is sadness in these words, perhaps a soft regret (but not a regret) and an emotion that truly carries.
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it's just the waiting that kills you...the 'what if' lol C
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Oh my gosh woman! I don't even know what to say! I've told you before that pieces were your best, and I'm telling you this is your best! You never cease to bring it home, and I love to read you.
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Nice, nice... I know it's coming from lots of hard places but you say it so well. Life certainly isn't about fair, but we do what we do anyway; it's our responsibility to be who we are. You do bring a lot of meaning to it with your writing. I like - the all talk and no action gist in S2, the Pagliacci reference [perfect], putting on his costume and preparing to laugh - a play within a play, the smoking gun tie-in, the front row seats and missing spotlight, poet eyes, crucible crowds, "it's love I write never having it or knowing it," love's play does well and you get nothing, celluloid write-out, having no say. Well said and edgy - just keep writing!
Marlene -
you HAVE given your best!
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Thanks, somehow easier to write life sucks lol well to me anyway!
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You know how I feel. Love Juls
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Isn't this supposed to be 16 lines??
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I couldn't do it justice in 16 lines, once I started and anyway the contest was the inspiration, don't care bout the trophies as such, it needed to be written and it is!
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"when you
look life
in the guts
it kicks you back"
YOU ARE SO FUNNY & literal.
"Al Capone
holding the
smoking
gun"
LMAOLMAO
"written mindless
blind eyes of the poet
the optimist
eternal"
I LOVE THAT STANZA
Do you have something against longer lines?
All your lines are very brief.
Good luck
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Poetry does not have set standards, it is what it is in the mind of the poet and this is mine!!! You need to get out and look at more poetry lol
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I didn't say it had set standards, I just asked, Ms. Defensive
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i honestly had to read it twice. in the 4th stanza, the last two lines sound backwards to me
"in the front row
there is you
best seats
as the drama unfolds
curtain rises"
"in the front row
there is you
best seats
curtain rises
as the drama unfolds"
i dunno i'm picky
good write and great use of emotion
good luck
. Rewarded 6
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The drama is the person not the play.
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Life blows and gravity sucks, two general truths
I am pretty sure you nailed the prompt right on the head, great stuff.
Have Fun
Jeff
. Rewarded 4
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'the darkest hour is just before the dawn'
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