My heart beats a love rhyme for thy spirit
Awaken me into your fancy charms bright.
I crave your sensual soft tender touch vibes.
This is virtual freedom, together be one in life.
Where is virtue or the sin, we bind our self in whim.
At our age there are no bodies to grind cut and trim.
In love ecstasy let your soul float as I seek yours.
Be one in beauty of the mind to merge our sights.
Let heavens shower their blessings as I ask
Will you be mine in muse love and joyous cries.
A contest entry
- Up Down by Darkwell.
800 points, ended July 27, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - First. . . by SingPraiz4Hym.
525 points, ended July 28, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - best prewrites by dory.
500 points, ended July 30, 2008, 89 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Somewhere I belong. by Stripes.
400 points, ended August 3, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Heartache/Lost love PW! by Brit-Girl.
400 points, ended August 2, 2008, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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this is a nice poem, the rhyme feels forced in places, however you ended it well.
thank you for your entry,
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what an interesting twist in taking the concept of "somewhere i belong"...finding that belonging in a certain someone.. good luck!
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Well, being 'old' I really understood what you were writing and how our lives change and our sexual beings are necessarily 'just sexual' but so much more deeper and in time far transcends the physical parts of us. Thanks for entering. Good luck.
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at first i thought the words maybe were celtic but i think you missed it being a acrostic (the first letters of each line have to spell something going down) but beside that is a really lovely poem here that aches for love and understanding. you have some beautifully penned lines in this
Where is virtue or the sin, we bind our self in whim.
thats very deep about being spontaneous with our hearts
Be one in beauty of the mind to merge our sights.
that common vision that lovers can have. just awesome keep it up
Uniquely
Narrated
Adventure
Capturing
Reality
Of
Sweet
True
Instinctive
Cherishing
WTG! -
U have attempted rhyme here.. good
Read a lot of old poet's works to see how they rhyme, it goes unforced, natural and flows literally.. But thats ok.. we all start it this way and slowly grow.. Best wishes from the greeters team here.. Welcome to the site!!
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