Wind whips the robes of the raven black priest
As he waves from the grave through asphalt sleet
He screams “I pray to the lord your soul to keep”
But I sold it to the other sacred man.
Yesterday played silently but I had things to do
I had to bury you deep and then say goodbye to you
I came back today to look for something new
This is my worst day since yesterday
I walk down the avenue and the traffic sounds too loud
Clouds form in the east in the shape of a shroud
I don’t need to see them so I keep my head bowed
This is the worst day since yesterday.
The devil’s voice is car horns and there’s no place to hide
Lunatic fringe is calling for me to take a ride
But I’ve a ticket for a dream ship that sails at high tide
If I pick up the pace I can make it.
The dealer on the corner wants to sell me a high
There’s a beggar in the alley and he’s waving me goodbye
Neon spells out truth but the truth is a lie
And the advertising men get richer.
I need to find a high place so I can take my bow
I need to come and join you and I need to do it now
I’d swallow ghetto courage if only I knew how
This is the worst day since yesterday.
Angels eyes not blinking as they flare murder red
Every bullet in the chamber is aimed at my head
Come meet me in the dawn light when I wake up dead
On my best day since yesterday.
Author notes
Inspired by two tracks from the album The Rise And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars by David Bowie. "Rock and Roll Suicide" and "Five Years". -*-
A contest entry
- Music Lovers For Poetry by Silver Asylum.
700 points, ended September 18, 2008, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Heartbreak Hotel by neenz.
900 points, ended November 10, 2008, 34 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Imagery. Metaphor. Style. Pre-writes. by Floorboards.
625 points, ended November 13, 2008, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Can't sing? Can write? Enter your songs here! by upperworld06.
700 points, ended March 23, 71 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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This is great, though i read it more as a Johnny Cash kinda song than a David Bowie, still liked it a lot, has deep meaning and the last line is amazing. thanks for entering and good luck
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i can certianly see the bowie-ness of this song, it's really good, it's got a quirky aweseomeness that i love, best of luck in the contest
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this was awesome. i mean it is probably one of the best pieces i have read in quite some time. you have a sheer gift a knack if you say for writing.
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Thanks for the kind words. Comments like this are worth waiting for.
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Congratulations, maninblack!
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Supercool poetry.
My scores are,
Imagery; 9
Metaphor; 8
Style; 10
Total. 27, excellent. -
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Cheers my friend
That did my ego a world of good.
Thanks again.
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It seemed so right that this piece was inspired by song because half way through I was thinking "man, this would make a great song". I loved every line and the repetition worked really well. Great piece, good luck in the contest.
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This is a great write, I love poems with repeating lines that drive the point home - "This is the worst day since yesterday." Thank you for the entry.
-N -
wow.. its much more better than mine.. and its very good.. i can feel it..
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This is excellent! Full of strong emotions, and I love the refrain and the consistency... great poem. Thanks for entering! shya
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Crazily Good
I love this poem, beginning to end. I have often felt this way, and I love how well you reflect those feelings and put it so beautifully and create this amazing piece of work. Excellent write and good luck!
~*~Zenity
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fantastic write, i love how it's written. but i must regretfully ask you to go back & reread the rules & the add my symbol to your notes so i know you've read them.
thank you for entering my contest & best of luck.
--Blessed be--
Shacadia Shay -
A sweet melody played to a haunting tune.
I could feel the grief and the rush through these words.
I wish you all the best in the contest.
Rose
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This poem was so beautiful. I felt as though I was listening to a song being played. It painted such a lovely picture in my head, I almost felt hypnotized by your words. Wonderful job, best of luck.
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