It's shape, figure, dusty strings,
in need of tender care.
I'm told with love: this thing sings.
I doubt it has a prayer.
My hand traces the honey wood,
the crack along the side.
Small repairs would do it good.
My fears start to subside.
Eyelids tight in the damp, dark air.
my hands release the magic.
The pages of my mind once bare,
have filled now that I have it.
A contest entry
- MUSIC-RELATED POEMS URGENTLY REQUIRED FOR LIVE SHOW... by Vera Rich.
1275 points, ended July 30, 2008, 36 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - OPTIONS I- GOLD - SILVER - BRONZE FOR EACH by Florida Sunshine.
475 points, ended August 16, 2008, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Round 2 instructions have been posted. Please see contest page and begin.
Lisa -
The imagery is over the top good! I love the style of poetry you've used along with the rhyme. ~ Very good job! I like this a lot!
~**** Thanks for entering my contest ~ I do appreciate you sharing your work with me, and allowing me the opportunity to review your work, it was my pleasure to do -- you penned a wonderful poem.
Best of luck to you,
Florida Sunshine
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content 7.2
vocabulary 9
accuracy 8.3
creativity 8
theme 7.4
originality 7.4
totals 47.3 -
Thank you for the improved layout. Perhaps rather slight - but a pleasant piece in general. But I find the ending a little unsatisfactory. "Now that I have it" seems weak to me, and rather gives the impression that you were stuck for a rhyme - and this was the best you could manage!
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I find it interesting that you say that.. because that one just came out.. I didn't have to think about it.. and I didn't feel that it really rhymed.. but it was what I wanted to say. lol. Oh well. The criticism is appreciated nonetheless. =]
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I have had great difficulty reading this. Could you please, before I finish judging the competition, do something to make it more legible. I find black typing on a plain what (or at the worst, plain VERY pale pastel background) the least painful to read.
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My greatest apologies. I hope this background is better suited for your reading. =]
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To be honest, it's just a tick I have. I don't like things to be uneven or off center unless there's a reason for it. And, with this poem, the lines alternate length and meter; so, it seemed appropriate.
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cute. Why is it center aligned?
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