you speak with your mouth.
you express how you feel.
your emotions. your needs.
my mouth shan't open.
not to the ears of people
with a soul and a good heart.
but if there were silence?
if you couldn't open your mouth?
would you express your emotions.
the way i do?
on your skin.
in blood and pain.
however. lets praise.
the world is not a sick place.
most can talk with feelings.
and one day i will too.
i will be able to tell you.
A contest entry
- crimson remorse by PersephoneInWinter.
300 points, ended August 19, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Uh, this poem seems good to an extent, the emotions displayed there are irregular yet they don't reach the level of random. I'd only suggest you to fix some of your spelling (Mostly caps' usage) and stop using periods at the end of every sentence, it affects the flow of the poem.
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This poem is strangely optimistic, but I like it. There is much hope in many of the lines (E.g. and one day i will too). The first stanza was very powerful and I would like to wish you the best of luck in the contest.
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ooo. I like it! It kinda had me jumping in... my fav part was... but if there were silence?
if you couldn't open your mouth?
would you express your emotions.
the way i do?
on your skin.
in blood and pain.
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