...faint and baseless accusations
occupy the space between reason and eccentricities
whispering within poorly pruned pathways
of the atrophied, chasm riddled consciousness
maintained out of empty habit more than necessity
in a dementia clouded monochromatic static
where technicolour lifetime fades into white noise
as memory's sunset dwindles to pinpoints of grey
and the yellow sun, a dying star...
Author notes
Sort of an assessment of the mind as we age
graceless as a broken foot
A contest entry
- Best Prewrites From July 2008 by amaranthine lover.
2800 points, ended November 18, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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love the imagery here
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Wow this certainly bombards and assaults the senses with unrelenting honesty. Really liked the abstraction and the constant images literally spitting from the page. This is definitely a fiesty and even fierce write, very thought provoking, growing old may be inevitable but it sure sucks. Final image of the yellow sun and a dying star says it all. Great write, thanks for sharing.
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This is a beautiful piece, your use of vocabulary is stunning, The way you connected Dementia and Monochromatic with technicolur is nothing short of brilliance. There is wonderful vision here! I am glad you have shared it with the rest of us!
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the last line really ties the whole thing together
nothing is what it seems to be.
my favourite line would have to be:
as memory's sunset dwindles to pinpoints of grey
honestly, this is amazing. -
i often forget that the sun is a star also yet im not sure if it's the largest one? i'm thinking there are other stars in the sky that arae.....like the word technicolor esp when used in poems...... to age is kinda depressing yet i guess with all the creams and surgeries out there it's fought....
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