I look at you every day and wonder what I did--
what could I have possibly done to deserve you?
Watch you sleep at night when the light's dim,
brush a hand across your forehead and swallow hard.
The weight of it all is crushing, but I want it.
The burden of knowing you'll look to me for guidance
and knowledge and a wisdom I hope I can give.
I'll need God to grant it, though, because I've never
been much of a sage; can barely make it day to day.
I'd take life to protect yours and tear apart any
living soul that dares to raise a hand to you,
like a savage lion that safeguards his own
with an animal growl and strength born of hunger--
Hunger for the ability to give you a life of ease
and luxury that I've never had. I want that,
but it seems like all I can offer is the love inside me,
Because the wallet is still empty, like it always is.
Never had a father to show me what to do
when little eyes are watching. What do I show you?
What do I tell you? Are you watchin' every move?
How the hell do I know what a man is?
Break down like a child and cry because
I can't give you more. But when those bright
eyes turn to me and you smile, I can't hold
up the helpless rage, and it dissolves into laughter.
You love me whether I'm made of money
or just strength and love. That love's all I've got
and I pray to God that it's enough, because
I've never been so blessed.
You're my boy, and that's forever.
Author notes
Not really a poem so much as my thoughts typed in notepad. This one's for my son Dominic, my man. He's just turned 2 years old, and I love him more than life. Got to be a good man for him.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Your soul is pure, my friend, I never was so blessed with sons or daughters, but I can feel the love in this, you'll make mistakes but you both shall survive them. Lean on Gods love, ask for his advise. Thats what he waits for you to do. Hugs.
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Bah... somehow this thing deleted the first half of my comments. Well, the basic idea was that I think this is a wonderful, beautiful expression of strength and love, qualities you most definitely have. I'm a little jealous, I must admit. More and more blessings on you and Dom, my dear!
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my own, but perhaps someday... still, such a heartfelt work deserves much praise. Blessings on you and little Dominic!
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Parenthood is often a difficult road to travel and a learning curve that never ends even when they are grown up. Despite the misgiving we all have when times are tough, especially when finances are lacking, the one thing that underpins it all is what you quite rightly have expressed here, that love is enough. You pose the question “What do I show you?” along with others which are all perfectly natural for parents to ask themselves. If you show your son the love you feel what ever your circumstances then it will be returned through the years as he learns there are more valuable things in life than possessions. The last stanza really says it all as you answer your own questions in the best way possible. Children are a blessing that when nurtured and given good guidance will repay you infinitely.
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I didn't know you had a son. I bet he's adorable. And I'm sure you'll be a good example.
Good poem. At first I didn't even notice that it didn't rhyme because it has a definite rhythm.
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