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Lane A Smith

Day after midnight

 we packed them in

  trading word for world

   line for lines

    vice for verse

     incredible

      streaking daylight in rods

     like frozen trails of hard liquor

    after body-shots

   trading cheap dresses

  with each other

 like in-jokes

(we laughed)

 

people talked of perfection

and greatness

but they didn’t get it

 

the whole point

was

the cheap dresses

 

those gaudy

booze-soaked

shreds of poetry

 

 

Author notes

This poem is from my series “58 degrees North”, which were composed, or at least written down in embryonic note form, in the far North West of Scotland, during a week in July 2008. Some of them have gone forward as part of my portfolio entered in the Manchester Poetry Competition 2008 (and will therefore not appear on AP yet). Several of them are written for or about AP poets.

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • wbiro gold member
    November 1

    Edit | Reply
    Yes, I read this- though I have a lot of questions about that 'person'... you do have her style down- free verse and loads of concrete imagery (a shopper's delight), but you've also captured that decadent, fatalistic feeling that pervades her writing- and feeling is the most difficult thing to capture...


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      November 1
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. As for her "style" I think I should reiterate what I said to Amera below. I think it's my voice, and the approach to her style is my tribute.


  • Dalaney gold member
    July 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i have been looking at this, rereading it, my cheeks rather flushed with honor and love...this is what it IS all about and now you have filled my eyes with tears, thank you very much. xxoo L


  • Amera gold member
    July 23, 2008

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    What a wonderful dedication to a wonderful poet. What strikes me is that you perfectly used her style and it almost sounds like her poetic voice. From one master poet to another; Bravo!

    Love,
    Amera♥

    • Mairi bheag gold member
      July 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Well, I would say this is my own style and voice, but heavily influenced by her. My poems "to or for" other poets in this series are not necessarily written in their styles. I have to admit that her style rings my bell! And I am glad you like this, Sis.


  • IronMaiden1236
    July 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    awesome! Love the last line!!


  • PerVirtuous
    July 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ha ha ha ha. Communing with a fertile mind is a wonderful thing. You have captured that feeling here perfectly. Poetry is never about the poems. at least it shouldn't be. It is about the relationship between the author and the intended reader(s). You wear dresses? Have some bunnies.

    • Mairi bheag gold member
      July 23, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      I have been known to slip into something other than my comfy, old combat pants. I am a SOFT butch, after all.

      Thanks for the bunnies.


  • cricketjeff gold member
    July 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Dapoetry

    If I had not met Lane. I would not write poetry.

    I had thought my previous comment said it all, actually it does, but I am a loquacious bugger. Knowing Lane has changed every single thing I write. I am honoured more than I can say to call her, and you the poet of this piece, my friends.

    Greatness, perfection and the simply sweet, makes a decent three


  • cricketjeff gold member
    July 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Yes

1 - 12 of 12