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there was poetry

tinderbox was dry
shadows fell
across my hair
the glass smashed

tinsel appeared
in shattering
nobody moved
and the bed swam

as the fire died
lack of fuel
you built strangeness
the way your hands kissed
mouth touched holy

God became gasp
lungs for air
I surprised you
without words

and it
snowed
white,
even
unattractive
until
your warmth
came inside ice
and melted
there
just above
centigrade

light went on
before dawn sneezed
fireflies away

I wrote the page
to pure
poetry
personal
uncomplicated
tangled in
growth
of my fingers
leaving your hair

saying goodbye


Author notes

inspired by Thomas Scott's http://allpoetry.com/poem/4442135 .Poet.
Cannonsfire

A contest entry

What did you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
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Comments

1 - 16 of 16
  • This has such a great sense of imagery throughout, even in moments where subject became vague, there was still a depth to be found and absorbed. Such an abstract view made poignant within these lines. The last stanza seemed to dwindle in effect, but a great write over all. Thank you for your entry!


  • leo2
    July 23

    Edit | Reply
    Poetry was made for love. To express the feelings that mere words are ill suited to describe. In the poetry of things this does the job nicely. Good luck in the contest.

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long

  • Please put your name in author notes so I know you are indeed on my list. Thanks.

  • Rowan gold member
    July 22
    Edit | Reply
    I agree with Nicolette, you are a natural...


  • Nicolette gold member
    July 22

    Edit | Reply
    Where you are, poetry's there too, always. You are such a natural poet. Some fabulous writing here, poetess!!

    ~ Nicolette

  • dillpickle62
    July 22

    Edit | Reply

    Long escape...

    of my breath. holy wow! For a night like this i would believe in any God you wanted me to. hahahaha.... Wow some fabulous writing here. Sheew! Just made my day.


  • Angelflower Greeters member
    July 22

    Edit | Reply
    how do you do that?! It's like something that looks like it would make no sense yet when your done reading your like... Wow... you always shock me.. Lol.. Me likes! best of luck sissy..


    Angel
  • Thomas Scott gold member
    July 22
    Edit | Reply

    Good stuff.

    And good luck with the contest.

  • Excellent

    Wow, a very poignant write with just a hint of sensuality. Thanks for sharing this one with us. Again, well done.

    . Rewarded 4


  • arafura
    July 22
    Edit | Reply
    It's a great way to keep warm! Wonderfully sensual and even romantic in a nice way. Love it!

  • I've never been inspired by a poem..I've been inspired by POETS. Sometimes for bad, hatred causes.

    Oh yeah, your title cracks me up--it has an epic, literature-esque feeling that's also...a bit of a jest.

    tinderbox<--ONE WORD (: I know, because I used to play Runescape &...anyways. I don't play Runescape anymore...LoL

    "and the bed swam"
    LMAO what? Your personification is so fun.

    "God became gasp"
    Meh..don't really believe in him. But very very cool line. (:

    "even
    unattractive
    until
    your warmth
    came inside ice
    and melted
    there
    just above
    centigrade"
    GROOVY...'centigrade'<--KICK-ASS WORD MAN!!

    "tangled in
    growth
    of my fingers
    leaving your hair"
    Reminds me of your hair poem.

    The whole thing was fabulous, but I don't want to Copy & Paste everything.



1 - 16 of 16