There is a shadow upon me, as if my eyes are tightly closed.My heart grows weak as it acquiesces to the cold.
In this world of dreams, I haven't felt in so long, and my lungs are beginning to burn as if I'm drowning in the ocean.
I am lost in a sea of all that I've become, but the frigid waters of conformity have left me lifeless and numb.
Gasping for breath, I scream for release.
I seek for the shore which has so far eluded me.
These waters have stripped me, leaving me shivering in pain.They have taken all I am . . .
My face,
My name...
Author notes
8) last words in poetic form
A contest entry
- prewrites by aeolia.
400 points, ended October 26, 2008, 130 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Clever Ryhmes ~ Prewrites/New Poems ~ by Melissa Burns.
300 points, ended August 6, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Need Favorites ^___^ by edit my world..
555 points, ended September 3, 2008, 68 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Just about anything by my1lovewearsdiapers.
450 points, ended September 16, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options, Options, Options and PW allowed! by PonyPride.
950 points, ended September 10, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Off the Beaten Path by Shattered Remains.
600 points, ended October 17, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Best Three Pre-writes by piccola.
800 points, ended November 27, 2008, 140 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Just Love Fantastic Titles by 2lullabyhaven.
650 points, ended December 20, 2008, 41 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 4 Options (PW allowed) by Rhythm Child.
400 points, ended January 18, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Just because by darlintlc.
700 points, ended February 13, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what do you like or not like about it?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Thanks for entering my contest!
"I am lost in a sea of all that I've become, but the frigid waters of conformity have left me lifeless and numb."
These are most powerful words!!
Great job

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Thankyou for the entry
keep writing
Rhythm Child
(Billy) -
Powerfully impactful-thanks for this submission into my contest
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Nicely written and well rhymed. I would like to see line breaks elsewhere though to strengthen it. thank you for the entry
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Very good, short but with a lot of impact, I likey, thanks for entering
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THANK YOU FOR ENTERING MY CONTEST
You must forgive my tardiness as I've had comp issues in judging! Thanks, good luck!!!!!!!!!!
1 - 6 of 6





