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The potter

In this garden, where bird's songs wipe out
the hungry mouth of mill-wheel's destiny:
a bait on eternity's fishing-rod, to collect
the potter's experiments on past giants.
One brick misplaced darkens memory's faces,
mystified his aim. Past races now decorate deadly grounds.

Author notes

Prompt (favorite things): pottery, garden and brick.
45 words or fewer.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments


  • Cat gold member
    July 28

    Edit | Reply
    a nice piece
    really concentrating on the pottery process and pulling a nice metaphor through with it.

    i almost think you could eliminate the word redemption
    for a stronger overall poem

    good solid final line- thanks so much!

    Mary


    • Nevel
      July 28
      Edit | Reply
      aww,thank you .....I think you are right...I shall remove that word...
      Erwin

  • Room without doors silver member
    July 22

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    This is a good take on the prompt. I thought this was full of great imagery and over-all a thoughtful poem. Best of luck in the contest.