She flutters about, not a care in the world,
wings like a hummingbird, beating furious.
Dancing in air, she twisted and twirled,
spying a young human, became curious.
Lay on the ground sobbing, small body curled,
his well cut clothes shredded, all covered in dust.
In a split second, she hovered by his side,
his pain filled eyes reddened, yet open so wide.
Jerking up in surprise, they soon filled with awe,
seeing something mere mortals rare get to see.
Shaking his head, wiping a nose that was raw,
incredulous, staring at this Pixie.
Watching his young face, laughing at what she saw,
suddenly, the boys blue eyes were pain free.
He dared then to smile at her, everything changed,
pieces fell into place, all was rearranged.
In that moment they bonded, life, heart, love, soul,
neither of them knew it yet, it was not time.
His magic will start to grow, without control,
young Prince that he is, face all covered in grime.
A long fated meeting on a rocky knoll,
this is just the beginning of their long climb.
The prophesy was fulfilled, in that instant,
staring at one another with quiet intent.
Author notes
Love you Tory.
I wrote this for a contest that had 2 entries when I saw it. When I posted the poem it was closed for judging already. Damn pre-writes!! I guess I write too slow. ~grin~
Ottava Rima
A Ottava Rima is a poem written in 8-line octaves. Each line is of a 10 or 11 syllable count in
the following rhyme:
one octave poem. abababcc
two octave poem. abababcc, dededeff
three octave poem. abababcc, dededeff, ghghghii
...so on and so on
In a list
A contest entry
- Elves, Forests, Fantasy! by PerVirtuous.
3000 points, ended August 7, 2008, 31 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me smile, make me cry, make me horny. . . . Anything goes by Childofserenity.
500 points, ended August 23, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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thanks for entering.
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This is excellent. I love this form for storytelling. Thanks for entering.
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oh oh oh slurping the loli pop and handing it back to you is good borther is very very lovely.
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This is listed as entered into my contest, but I don't see it listed here on your poem as entered! How odd?! It's sad too becaue I love this poem, it's truly enchanting and just what I'm looking for! beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Enchanting
Wonderful to think that a frightened child in pain could become healed and empowered by a pixie. Thank you for a delightful read!
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Awww this is really lovely!! it flowed so well!! I really loved this.. it's just so beautiful.. what a wonderful tale you weaved here.. bravo!! I'm sure that Tory will love it!!
Angel
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Oh, it's too bad you missed the contest, I've had that happen to me before too. I love this piece though. And I love how you always explain and break down your poetry form. It's been awhile since I was in school and studied poetry, so I don't always remember proper form. So I really enjoy reading your formats and trying them out for myself. Thanks for the tips. Great piece.
~Pixielated
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excellent
In that moment they bonded, life, heart, love, soul,
neither of them knew it yet, it was not time.
His magic will start to grow, without control,
young Prince that he is, face all covered in grime.
A long fated meeting on a rocky knoll,
well thought out lines...imagery is excellent and the overall meaning quite enjoyable. you have a way with words and I liked it a lot.Please visit some of my poetry as well and offer comments.
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Outstanding
This poem was a great fantasy piece. The rhyme was subtle and sophisticated and the whole poem had great flow. You have penned a very unique poem that charms the reader. I've not read this form before and I think you have done wonders with it. Best of luck in the contest.
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You did a fine job with this form. I am always timid about trying new styles that seem difficult. I guess I should try more often. Reading yours lets me know it is possible. Pen on...
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Prince and Pauper - Call The Pixie!
This is truely an amazing poem and what that inspires hope. It was very delightful to read.
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awesome
That was a great ottava rima poem. Good job, i dont see many of those.
Anony -
well done
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Sad tale with happy ending.*A long fated meeting on a rocky knoll,
this is just the beginning of their long climb.* Cute too
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Perfection and Tory would love it too
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Very well done. I'm a story teller by origin and this struck me as a fairy tale to be told to the masses. Very very nicely done. I'd actually love to use this as a bases for a story, but I don't have time for that right now. I'm busy on two others. But if I ever finish, I'd LOVE to use this, with proper credit of course. I'll ask back if I ever get time. Great, great write.
Tal.
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awww this is such a beautiful tale and i love all the imaery and imagination you have put into it. very clever well done
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Aww... Such a beautiful tale
Great work! Love it!
Jade Rayne*
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Great poem, not usually into fantasty poems, but I loved the feel of this poem
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You nailed a hard form, one I have never been easy with. Good form and vocabulary. Pen on...
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