Tears of sorrow slowly slide down both cheeks,
Yet, nothing compares to a heavy heart.
Years of life collapsed, tomorrow's oblique.
What was once held dearest, all torn apart.
Betrayed and hurting, need to be stronger,
Trying to understand, yet still confused.
Days creep by, but nights are even longer,
Crying for relief, but the soul refused.
Stealing precious moments to just let go,
While life peels away layers, day by day.
Kneeling at bed, he's listening, I know,
Eventually he will hear as I pray.
Lonely, these moments, slowly slinking by
Only time will heal, heartaches of goodbye...
Author notes
2# A loss of someone close.
First sonnet attempt a.b.a.b....c.d.c.d....e.f.e.f. and a rhymed couplet. g.g.
I tried to rhyme beginning and end of lines
In a list
A contest entry
- Form Poetry Anyone? by e m i l y.
450 points, ended August 23, 2008, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites. by She Stole My Voice.
300 points, ended September 21, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Sonnet Experiment by ArchOblivion.
1100 points, ended October 2, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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A very emotional piece with a strong form. I felt the sadness from it along with noticing the pretty yet melancholy language. I love the title, it goes well with your write, the agonizing slow of time in moments of sorrow. Good read. Thanks for your entry and good luck to you!
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This is a breathtaking poem so full of emotions! You did fantastic on capturing your thoughts.
The best of luck in your life. -
Ah an Iambic Sonnet.
Love those :]
For your first attempt,
it's pretty good :]
Thank you for entering and good luck ♥
-Rainbow. -
I really can relate to this poem.
And I think that is why I liked it so much.
This is exactly what I've been feeling
for the past couple days. Word for word.
It's kind of a relief too, that someone
knows or at least writes like they feel it too.
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I know this feeling all to well... I actually like the form of a sonnet, havent tried one myself... think you have done a wonderful job, good luck in the contest..
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The lonliness of a broken heart, you express the pain well in this poem. Truly it is well written, well done.
Adrian
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This is really nice
I loved this line "Years of life collapsed, tomorrow seems oblique."
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I don't really know about sonnets but this is very wonderful with excellent imagery. It flowed so great and is the most lovely break up poem I have ever seen
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