consequential stirring,
my mind finally wakes,
my brain drew me a picture
and a pictures all it takes,
suffering with a smile,
why does it matter?
collecting nonsense
knowledge scatters,
[chorus]
sketches of pain
pollutin' my brain!
I'm about to fall over again,
sketches of pain
my mental cocaine!
hitting the ground head first,
parrying the threats
but not fully out of harms way,
about to cave in
not a game I like to play,
corrupted future,
breaks down my mental walls,
false conceptions of culture,
are they brining me up for a fall?
[chorus]
sketches of pain
pollutin' my brain!
I'm about to fall over again,
sketches of pain
my mental cocaine!
hitting the ground head first,
Never had to lay so low,
shipload of contaminated cargo
never had to walk away,
My Psyche is starting to go
skin crawls from the inside
taking my bodies will to live,
maybe my last moments
will help me to forgive
[chorus]
sketches of pain
pollutin' my brain!
(I'm about to fall over again,)
sketches of pain
my mental cocaine!
(hitting the ground head first,)
a turncoat way of thinking...
sketches of pain...
Author notes
title option: Sketches of pain.
option 6: depression
A contest entry
- Write Me Your Best Love Poem by ratkos.
3560 points, ended August 13, 2008, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sew Me a New Heart by Good Mourning Moon.
300 points, ended July 26, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Am I crazy? {Options!!} by sins and sorrow.
575 points, ended August 3, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - HATE HATE HATE HATE by RawrSmileBabyPlz.
300 points, ended July 28, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter Your Best Poem Here, ONE WINNER TAKES ALL by echo-ink.
725 points, ended August 8, 2008, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ayyy write me something..Anything you want by tearfulgirl420.
300 points, ended August 22, 2008, 58 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what do ya think?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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beautifully written thanks for entering
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Very nice song. thanks for entering. good luck.
PL
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Great write! This is something I can relate to in a way.
Loved how it was a song!
Thanks for entering and best of luck! -
this sounds like you are addicted to pain and sadness.. for some reason letting yourself revel too long in your own sadness, feeling really comfortable there... and not knowing another way to be. I could be so wrong, but I interpret it in the way that I feel because I know what it's like to be addicted to pain. SO what is this about?
I really like it because it is unique and maybe (like what I did) it can make you feel what oytu want to feel which takes talent in my opinion. -
ack, i didnt notice i had pw's allowed. i'm sorry i just went and fixed that error. if something new comes to mind let me know!
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hm, yes, a very interesting write
truly. I can see this as a song
which is a good thing.
totally in love with music.
there's something special
about this piece.
brill! -
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thanks!
check out the song prototpe. me and a friend of mine who mplays guitar are gonna rite music to it... im thinking of pitching this one too... tell me whatcha think!
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thanks!
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I could feel the rhythm of the song. At times I wondered about your choice of words, but hey, your style of writing is just different from mine and thats okay yah know?
Also, you forgot to put your option in your authors notes
dont want you to get DQd!
overall good.
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