You weren't here when I felt so sad.
So I just cried and felt really bad.
I can put on a smile,
for my friends for a while.
But the truth is I want to die,
I feel like I dont deserve to lie.
I got out my xanex and started to bawl,
next thing i knew, i had taken them all.
I was so dizzy and things were all blury,
I wanted you here and I was filled with fury.
Then it got dark and I took it all back,
but it was too late; everything was black.
So I thought I would tell you, just so you know,
that I love you, and see ya when it's your turn to go.
Author notes
im not suicidal, this is for a contst.
A contest entry
- Write about anything you want. by Deaths Prayer.
750 points, ended August 25, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites. ♥ by GraveyardGoddess.
400 points, ended November 27, 452 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - Dark Emo Writes~All Welcomed by VampireKitty-.
470 points, ended October 14, 84 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites Only -- With a Twist! by Heroesrox.
400 points, ends December 12, 96 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
what do you think? what is your first impression?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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That was beautifully written. Depressing but relatable && i felt the emotion. Loved it.
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very well writen
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This is so sad. (Good that you're not suicidal) Great write with a good display of emotions. Oh, and I liked the rhyming also
Sydney
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this is like, really sad...but yet..really amazing i love
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WOW wow WOW
WOW my jaw dropped it's amazing write. I love the flow of the piece, It captures the readers very heart. I am utterly speechless WOW -
Generally effective use of rhyming couplets you have going on here - I can't do that to save my life.However, tiny tiny nitpick does the constant rhyme fit the theme? just a suggestion. Do like the title and the way the poem fits into it. This is a dark write but nevertheless.. thanks for sharing and glad to hear it's for a contest, good luck in that.
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lovely write!
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Ohh. I like this poem. =]
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amazing as always. =] =] =]
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