Your eyes held love's gleam
remembering longer days
when the sun rose faster
than the night ended.
Your curls grazed lobes;
soft honey dips
that skated the tip of your nose -
Full lips encased my own
with desires surpassing need.
When they called with grim news
I traced the curls spread across your chest
silvers melting into browns,
knowing their disappearance
would bring painful hope.
Moments fled,
severed before beginning
and time began fighting with memory.
Questions
became the grim gray rumblings
of thunderstorms brewing
on a May morning.
Shadows rested to dim your blue eyes;
body smooth from chemical play
what you deemed your manhood - stripped.
And when your lights flickered,
honeyed curls remained
in my memories,
time tendered touches;
When your kisses
gently played my cheek
on the dance floor.
A contest entry
- tonight i draw your hair by Nicolette.
2200 points, ended August 6, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I LOV the intimacy in this one.
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This poem has such a personal feel about it that I almost felt as if a comment on it’s poetic quality would be improper. It’s one of those poems that stay with the reader. It’s personal but it has an universal quality about it that so many of us can relate too. I liked the opening 4 lines – they immediately put the reader into the mood of the poem. I somehow stumbled at “while close kisses kindled heat” – don’t think you needed it (but that’s just my humble opinion). Other than that, this one touched me…. It’s a beautiful and very moving poem, and yes, the voice so very authentic.
Thank you for this entry.
~ Nicolette
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Nicolette
Thank you so much for your wonderful words and the opportunity to write. I appreciate your ideas so much. An excellent contest. ~Pamela
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Outstanding write!!!! Nice wonderful flow to this and brilliant images. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
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this poem gives me a soothing feeling - like stroking a lover's hair or the hair on his chest while laying against him. Love this, Pam, best of luck in the contest....
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A lovely pen!
What a wonderful verse full of imagery and flow. A whimsical piece.
Good luck in the contest!
Regards,
DeGraw
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This is such a sad but beautiful write Pam. Sounds like this person was loved very much...
I like the nifty way you described times of enjoyment, "...when the sun rose faster
than the night ended."
Paul
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So much feeling held within this one,
My Dear your words still leave me breathless.
Thank you for sharing,
Love and Light
Frozentearz
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