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Capitulation Purple

my fingers carve your eyes
on the sidewalk of obsession
sashay through time sands
where gather polyglots and fools
and  there, the stalest of dreams
reel the fawning Truth.

my feet are walking behind you
on the tracks of purple art
anxious for you to convict me
to place your tomorrow hand
on my yesterday sins;
a place where other loves
never make eternal fervor
and cannot promise me ...
You.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • carebear123
    May 4

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    i like the way you discribed the way of being adoring. it has a calming effect. tbh the poems kind of make me wonder if there all spiritual in meaning or if they have other meanings as well bc alot of times when i read your works there are things in referance to god but somehow your poems also have the inner story of a human figure inside the godlike figure. not sure if you meant it that way but its pretty awsome! lol!


  • Danna Hobart
    November 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful.


    • CookieZeal Greeters member
      November 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks, Danna. I knew your heart had eyes for this one.
      Also, thank you for the selection trophy. Always graciously received and pleasantly surprised!


  • storiesuntold gold member
    November 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Very good work here

    Wow with your pen you sure can dnce with the words you have here


  • Solidified
    August 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I admit it's hard for me to understand, but I think that's mostly because I do not have the same spiritual path- however, despite that, I love this just as much as the other poem I read. Something about the way you write is very calming. I truly enjoyed reading.

    • CookieZeal Greeters member
      August 17, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Dear fellow poet;
      Thank you for your honesty. Much to consider. The path
      is very long, and we pass each spiral at different times.

      It's never over... till it is.


  • PerfectImperfection
    August 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A very well penned piece of depth to thought. Beautifully abstract and surreal, in a truly poignant way. I especially enjoyed these lines:

    "my fingers carve your eyes
    on the sidewalk of obsession"

    .. an intense glimpse of adoration, and amorous intent ..

    "anxious for you to convict me
    to place your tomorrow hand
    on my yesterday sins"

    .. wonderfully unique expression here ..

    I just loved that entire second stanza as a whole actually. Excellent piece. Thank you for your entry!


  • anaisnais
    July 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nicely executed, love the royal colour connection, and thoughts of sands trickling makes me think of the higher church and rosary/Catholism...One God of love forgiving all sins as we seek favour in Him by following in order to reach our Truth. *****!! LEAVE IT AS IS NOW in my humble opinion!!


  • myrataal silver member
    July 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Ah Dianne!

    Such a beautiful, beautiful poem ... and here we go again: may I please publish it in KREATIV's new publication, WEAVING FLAX (IN)TO GOLD?

    Please take out the semi-colon and the dash/hyphen in the first stanza ... and leave only the two full stops. My soul wants no intrusions between the lines ...

    Love to you, my precious Friend.

    Myra

    • CookieZeal Greeters member
      July 23, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      You think? It seems most natural to me. However, respectively you have the higher distinction.
      Can we compromise? How about one comma after "there"?

      I appreciate the thought of it and am so glad you like it.
      Bless you so much! Love, Dianne


      • myrataal silver member
        July 23, 2008
        Edit | Reply

        Yes ...

        I agree ... but then also a pause after yesterday sins ... perhaps also a semi-colon ...


  • CaliOkie silver member
    July 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    to place your tomorrow hand
    on my yesterday sins


    Oh, this is great. You convey so much emotional intensity, yet you never let it get out of control, your words and lines are always just perfect.

    As always, I am so in awe of your talent and skill. Good luck in the contest. You have always been such a wonderful inspiration to me.

    Lend me your comb.

    Garrison

    • CookieZeal Greeters member
      July 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      ...Thank you , brother. Do you think there should be a hyphen at the end to 'tada' the "promise me' enjamb of 'You'? It seems fitting either way. Tell me what you think. I would appreciate it!

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