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Bitter-Sweet Lies


Tripping over moments past,
I sip on once sweet grapes
now bitter upon my senses,

for the bottle which
aged upon her lips
left memories of her lingering  
in Southern Grace and a smile,

and as Alabama drowns
my heart melted in
the red clay of lies
as my rose colored glasses fell

 


~tainted by bitter-sweet 
  drops left behind.

 

 

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 45 of 45

  • harrispoems silver member
    September 11

    Edit | Reply
    I really appreciate the metaphor and the imagery in your poem. They make the senses come alive!

  • this is amazing, beautiful imagery and message, in a way that captures attention but isnt in your face.

  • Bob Fox
    May 20

    Edit | Reply

    Poet

    And love. What is it really? Passion and pain? Hope and lies? But yes , to taste it just one more time would be so delicious. Then the sour taste shall follow. But oh those times.

  • this is amazing!! thank you for entering it in my contest and good luck in it

    '
    for the bottle which
    aged upon her lips
    left memories of her lingering
    in Southern Grace and a smile,

    "

  • Wonderful!

    This hit home!
    I'm a southern girl . and the bit about red clay that brought back memories of when i was a child.
    This was a beautiful piece and i adored it.
    good luck in contest and thanks for entering
    -Mandi


  • SubKitten
    April 16

    Edit | Reply
    Gorgeous piece! The imagery was astounding, and the flow was perfect. The emotional side of this came through very well, and had a great impact on the piece. Wonderful write!

  • I would have to say,
    This poem is quite unique from the rest..

    I really enjoyed reading it,
    My imagination was swept away with the taste..

    Thankyou for entering LoveNeverDies,

    goodluck

    (;

  • Thank you for your wonderfully penned entry, good luck in my contest, Josie


  • Rheea gold member
    January 1
    Edit | Reply
    Outstanding really did not want this to stop.


  • Rhythm Child
    November 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this was beautiful it was so fluent and in a way soft to read, your an amazing writer and this is pure evidence


  • Sandra R Reynolds gold member
    November 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great write full of meaning.


  • Swan song gold member
    October 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Nothing short of sensational


  • Leonura
    October 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully written. emotional and vivid in imagery. a wonderful poem. Well worthy of both trophies.


  • fairytalelovestory
    October 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Ty for entering and good luck


  • Meej
    October 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful...you have used the metaphor of red and wine well in this..the rose coloured glasses, grapes turned sour...realising things in our lives about people and etc is a bit like wine ageing isn't it. Strong write here.


  • BehindTheShadow
    October 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Heartache at it's best. Great piece!

  • carole21
    September 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    very nicely penned . . liked "now bitter upon my senses" and "the red clay of lies" . . congrats on the trophies . .


  • charcoal
    September 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It's really sad when the moments that meant the world to us lose their shine because of what happens after

    and bitterness is the worst aftertaste.

    there's so much sorrow in this write. the last two lines made me sigh!


  • Amera gold member
    September 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm impressed and I see why this poem won a gold trophy. You have to know the south to understand some of this, like the red clay.

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    September 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Congratulations on the Golden Chalice!!!

    I love this mesmerizing poem!!!


  • Jocelyn.Jaded
    September 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow amazing poem I'm pretty much speachless X]] anyhoo, as i said before amazing poem i love it [: keep up the amazing work!!! :]


  • Damien 666
    September 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i love how you put your heartache across in a way soo different, great style.
    this reminds me of a few months ago when i was watching my ex slowly but surely leave my life 4 good. remembering the special times, the love, those times you thought, i could be stuck in this moment forever. dont know what else to say apart from, sweet and powerfull.


  • perfectsunset gold member
    September 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was just beautiful. Amazing imagery, elaborations, & clever thoughts. Says so much in such brevity. I loved this piece.. a little masterpiece you have penned here.

    Thanks for entering & best of luck


  • Randomly Beautiful
    August 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Lovely.

  • DannySherwood
    August 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Great

    I liked how you put Alabama and the south in such a metaphorical context. I especially loved the line about the rose-colored glasses fading.


  • Maxboy gold member
    August 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully sad memories you have shown here.

    Congratulations on the GOLD.

    Well Done
    Love
    Don


  • Ti Amo Te Quiero
    August 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderfully written, your trophy was well-deserved. Short yet expresses strong emotions.Great read!!


  • Susan John Francis
    August 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully done, creates a picture .. Thanks for sharing

  • firefairy
    August 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    very nice. hits home in a sense of my own in words i can relate t


  • sgking123
    August 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    for the bottle which
    aged upon her lips
    left memories of her lingering
    in Southern Grace and a smile,

    and as Alabama drowns
    my heart melted in
    the red clay of lies
    as my rose colored glasses fell

    terific words great imagery...beautiful flow..and precise rhythm...you did a great piece there.Loved each word of it .Please visit my poetry for some soulful experience and I guess you would offer some comments. I am also building an AP family.Would you be game to join it.


  • Sugarfree
    August 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on the Gold You definitely deserved it!
    An amazing poem written by an amazing writer!
    Great work

  • imahealer
    August 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Brilliant!

    You always spill your heart with pen. Congratulations on Gold! So deserved. I'm glad I brought a magnifier to the computer with me. These old eyes sometimes don't see the writing on the wall! LOL You have risen far above your struggle with the power of a woman determined to live a better life. Your poem suggests, (Though it is poignant and sad) that you have accomplished what might have killed most! I think for your contest, I shall write something with tongue and cheek humor! A toast of grape juice to all survivors!

    Sis
    XOXO


  • Random Thoughts
    July 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on the gold for this one it is an amazing line of thought, I can say it is now one of my favourites, truley deserving!!!

    xxx


  • Luna Tique Fringe
    July 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I didn't really know what I was looking for in this contest until I found it...thank you.


  • edit my world.
    July 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is a beautiful write,
    i loved the last lines the clean it up nicely...wow...i can taste the bitter sweetness right now...which is odd because rarely can people get all 5 senses

    what a lovely write and good luck in yur contest
    Dani&hearts


  • SabbyLou
    July 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    good write i loved it...x


  • daviscth silver member
    July 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a wonderful poem dear. The imagery is so vivid. I love the third stanza and then the finishing lines....
    Good luck to you in the contest.


  • poeticweaver gold member
    July 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    tears...

    flowing from the verses of your sweet heart and soul... know you are loved, and cherished my friend...thanks for always caring for others, and you shine always so bright through your own pain within...know I'm here for you, as are many others I'm sure. Love this well expressed piece from you that touched my heart in ways I'm sure you know... peace.


  • warrior-eagle
    July 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wohooo!
    Woah!
    Amazing! This took my breath away!
    It really did.I tell you that you write
    in such a way that is unexpected, surprising
    the reader . . . with the title we expect something
    cliche,but your writing is just . . . not. And I love it.

    ...Simply Me♥


  • Grey Mouser
    July 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Powerful write sweetheart. Hurts to the heart awash in the tainted dregs of memories that once glowed, yet are now lost to time, are the remorse which leaves one in sorrow, crying sullen tears.
    Best to you.

    Love,
    Mouser
    xoxoxoxo
    Sun and stars shine no brighter than you.

  • acalmingvoice
    July 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    There's Alot of feeling to this write,.. I like it,.. The way you write is truly a gift,....one that was ment to be shared...THANK YOU....Good luck in the contest and keep up the good work,.....love to the moon and back,.....me.


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    July 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    My father was an alcoholic so I can definitely relate to this write sis! Once our rose coloured glasses come off it can be hard thing to do, look at them as they really are!

    Such a sad, yet stunning write!

  • Random Thoughts
    July 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Simply stunning write, the depth of perception in this one is amazing, your wording just rolled off my lips perfectly painting the picture, your writing just never stops growing, really well done matey, love it...


  • babygirl2582 silver member
    July 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Beautifully written

    You are a very talented writer and this was amazing.


  • Lexie - gold member
    July 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    oh dear

    mom i really dont know what to write here, i could comment on the beauty of your words and the depth of the piece, but my heart aches too and it clouds my judgement.
    my dad used to tell me "pain comes from lessons learnt and lessons make us stronger and wiser"
    you are loved

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