The darkest orchid I have ever seen
Came to me last night in the realm of dream
Its pistils onyx & its edges keen
Though its center was of swirling off cream.
I swore that I even could hear it speak
To me of things I should choose not repeat
The way men's will can shrivel & go weak
And the way it spoke was hardly discreet.
Of children in folds, and parents in dire
And the greed of men consuming the world
Of matterless space and colorless fire
And the way that chaos will reign unfurl'd
Part of me wonder'd how it had grown here
A flower that black, haunting my dream ear.
Author notes
This is a classic sonnet form contemporized
I call it an American Sonnet
Written January 8th, 2004
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 40 of 40
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thanks, that's very kind of you.
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First of all, thank you for entering this contest. I love the vivid description you have given of this flower and your ability to personify this thing of nature.
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Outstanding Sonnet!
Congradulations on the trophy, horus8! You truly deserved to win it (I really enjoy reading your sonnets!). Your last couplet was flawless! I have to admit, I read this sonnet several times and each time I got a new image and a new aspect of that last couplet! Outstanding work! You oughta check out my contest called 'Poetic Versatility (400 points to the winner!)' if you like a challenge cause I could use a lot more good entries from people. One of the options is to write an acrostic sonnet, which I think you could probably do well. (plus nobody has entered one yet) I am going to extend the deadline until I can get at least twenty or twenty-five entries. If you don't feel like writing an acrostic sonnet, there are still four other options for you to choose from. Anyways, once again Congrats. Peace....
.....sVento
PS. If you are interested, you can find the contest here:
http://allpoetry.com/contest/1110554 -
Winner
Outstanding. No other word for it. I loved it and you truely deserve first place. Congragulations! -
8/10
Wow. I really l iked this. I love darker sonnets, I mean, I feel like throwing up after reading "Shall I compare thee...", -
wonderfully ominous. well done, well done.:
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bravo, this is very well written.
~Tricia -
This is looking very much like a lap around the winner's circle. Great writing
David -
Sonnets are hard for me for some reason, but you make them look easy. This is very beautiful, I can see this stunning "Ebony Orchid of Theta" in my minds' eye because of how you worded this poem. Exquisite job! Your words flow like a soft liquid and end in the ear of a dream. Just beautiful! Good luck with the contest.
I hope all is well with you and your family. I know your son is growing by leaps and bounds. Is that baby born yet?
Much Love,
Renee
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Dreams are curious things, but they have wonderful images for poetry. Your rhymes are excellent.
This was fun to read, thanks for entering my contest.
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Great write! Best of luck in the contest!
Wow, this is very beautiful. I love the imagination in this piece. Very nicely done, you really delivered. Great write!!! Keep up the great work and best of luck in the contest!!!
---BOE--- -
Best poem I've seen so far in this contest. I'm not much of one for sonnets, but maybe I'll have to reconsider after reading this. Great work!
Your Cerulean Dreamer,
Michele -
This is absolutely splendid. The verse and meter is exact, the rhyming flawless. This was very worthy of a trophy. Is there anything you cannot write about? You are very talented, always put it to the best use my friend. I could see the "Ebony Orchid" very clearly. Keep it up, you have the "gift". Just brilliant! CONGRATULATIONS!!!
renee
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Wow, thank you Kristina.
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Congratulations on a job well done!!
Kristina
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Congratulations!
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Really well done. My only problem is that the last line seems to lose flow with the rest of the poem, but otherwise it is an excellent piece. Love the idea and imagery.
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This is a very beautiful sonnet indeed. An orchid as black as the night - very vivid...lovely write. I would take "and" out of line 10 though - then you'd have 10 syllables. Other than that, this is absolutely flawless...good luck!
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Line 10 has 11 syllables, just thought I would let you know.
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I love the sonnet, it is a very romantic form, no matter what subject matter, it still has an air of romance......I love this, thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.......
Take care
Sanity..
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i think it one of the best poems on the sight..yeah missing you...and your poems... -
to the almost beginning...good night, dear one. so nice to hear your voice tonight. sleep well. xxoo
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Beautiful piece here...I love sonnets. Though they can often be a pain to write, the result is usually worth it in the end. ANd like others have said, you don't see enough structured works on this site--not as many as I would like..lol. I really loved this though; it's so dark and deep. I'm glad you entered this piece.
~Ica~ -
Sometimes I'm a late blommer but I always get it I should of caught on sooner,
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good to see some structured poetry...
although I have no room to talk, Im a lazy ass.
Thanks for sharing.
you know its good, no use in me saying so -
did i ever mention i love this poem? i'm not sure i really ever told you that...
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still holding power.
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good job. nice imagery. flowing rhythm and rhyme.
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Great!!!!!
Awesome!!!!! This is absolutely awesome!!!!!
So haunting yet peaceful & beautiful all at the same time
Amazing piece
Thanks for entering
Best Wishes
~Tracey~
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i can say it from memory...and somehow believe that by saying them, i can change the words meanings from dire to beauty...
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Still, an orchid, perhaps not as black but of the same dream or maybe different, has visited. In my filmy membrane of sleep, I listened but could not recall the messages. Upon awakening, this morning, her pistil words were left for me to collect. She said many things of which I have only started to repeat. One message was for me to Horus8 "Perhaps you have been most greedy. Taking and feasting at the banquet the poet has laid before you. Some hunger that seems bottomless for every dish on the table. Inward, drawing turning words to your energy. Without a gracious nod." In hearing this, I wondered, hoped it to be untrue but never a rude dinner guest, I salute your talent, dear poet for all things word and offer a gracious nod of thanks for putting up that neon sign that READ ME while I was driving on that sometimes desolute road known as poetry.
Edited on Jan 17, 8:23 because ''. -
Wow, this is amazing, so dark yet deep and the words are so wonderfully mixed in with the emotions and such communicated, awesome poem!!
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My verdict?
dark...elegant...
"The darkest orchid I have ever seen
came to me last night in the realm of dream."
i read your author's page...you're a very impressive person...sorry i feel like the girl of few words today...great write..sonnets are very hard to write... -
good
The Sonnet is one of my favorite forms, both to read and to write. This one is lovely. One of these times, if and when I sponser a contest, it will involve the Sonnet. Thanks for posting this. I don't see enough of this form on this site!
Best wishes,
Hoosier writer & Poet,
Moses L. Hochstetler -
I loved it choder...You have major talent and you know you freakin ball wacker.
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You have exquisite talent. I always enjoy reading your work. Keep penning.
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Excellent
I agree with the comment about the "haunting" nature of this poem. It is dark; yet,strangely, beautiful, as well. The imagery of the black orchid is so vivid in my mind. It almost reminds me of the little girl in the red coat walking to her death, hiding under her bed in terror, in "Schindler's List." The image remains because in that dark, gray world, that was the only bright color. The black orchid in your poem has the off cream center...contrasting black and white. So, these are my favorite lines:
The darkest orchid I have ever seen
came to me last night in the realm of dream.
Its pistils onyx & its edges keen
Though its center was of swirling off cream.
Thanks for your comments on "Green Corn Spirit Whispers." Native American stories and spiritual ceremonies are my passion. I am working on a collection of Native American poems. Back to your poem, it was an excellent piece that I enjoyed reading. **Ivy Rose
Edited on Jan 10, 2:34 because ''. -
I enjoyed reading this ....definately had the taste of contemporary poetry to it. A lovely image.
Ann -
Haunting
Your vision is, as usual, haunting, dark and beautiful.
Superbly crafted in the telling. My response is muted by the sounds of your voice. I applaud you softly so as not to wake the mouth of madness.
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Its the first time I've read an "American Sonnet"... I enjoyed it very much... thanx for sharing...
mina
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